Big Fashionista

Week Four weigh in

2012-01-31T12:30:00.001Z

Well I'm just going to come out and say it.

I didn't lose any weight this week.

I didn't put any on either, but trust me that is not going to make me happy at this exact moment.

I'm annoyed, I admit it. I've been a good girl, I have. and if I am putting in the effort to not eat crap then I fully expect my body to reward me by shedding a couple of pounds. I don't think I am asking too much do you? It isn't as though I don't have a lot to lose, surely my body could have given up just one pound, just to be NICE to me to for once.

I was extremely worried about this weigh in, purely because I have spent this whole week shovelling hard core pain killers down my throat like they were smarties (Mmmmmmmmmm, smarties) and I have to wonder whether these have had an effect on my weight loss this week.

I haven't eaten any differently to how I usually do either. So yes I am pretty upset over staying the same weight.

Now this is where it gets interesting.

I got off the scales, kicked them and gave them a filthy look (as you do) and my instant response was to run to Sainsburys and buy the biggest bar of chocolate they stock and eat it all in one sitting.

That is what I would usually do anyway.

But I didn't. I bought mushrooms instead (I'm such a rebel)

So perhaps this is what my body is trying to teach me this week. New habits, I can lose weight any time, but I know I still have so much to learn and change about my lifestyle.
The old Kellie would turn and reach for the things that are bad for you when something goes wrong, but this time I didn't.

So perhaps I did shed something after all?

Another layer of the old Kellie has gone, revealing part of the new Kellie that I am striving to reach. It isn't just about the weight loss, it is about learning to undo the old habits and make new ones,

This isn't a fairytale ending, I know that I will come up against this again in the future but I have this week as a foundation. I didn't crack and give into temptation. I carried on with the new healthy lifestyle and I hope to be rewarded for it next week.

Now does anyone want a mushroom? I seem to have lots.

Big Fashionista x x x

The joke that just isn't funny.

2012-01-31T05:00:00.001Z

Yesterday I took a little walk over to the Facebook page of Glossybox (review of Januarys box coming soon)

First point I need to make. Wow, the GlossyBox UK social media team deserve a medal, I imagine that the pub nearby to their office does a roaring lunchtime trade, (next time I'm nearby guys, I'll buy you a drink. hell, I'll buy you a bottle)

Second point. Let's talk about mental illness.

Now I know that seems like kind of a jump but let me start at the beginning and hopefully it will soon make sense (I did say hopefully)

Yesterday someone I respect posted a comment on the Glossybox UK page. Not everyone had to agree with it, It just so happened that I did.

But one class-less person replied.

"*****, has the nuthouse let u out on day release"

Words absolutely failed me, (actually, they didn't but you know what I mean)

Doesn't mental illness have enough of a stigma surrounding it without people using it as an insult?

Is it any wonder that some people with depression, schizophrenia, anxiety or other forms of mental illness are still concerned in this day and age to share what they are going through?

My reply to this person? (I really can't bring myself to type lady, I'm sorry I can't)

I sincerely hoped that a member of her family never had to go through the trauma of mental illness as she would obviously have no sympathy for them, I explained that it is people like her that help create the stigma of mental illness. and then I walked away.

Her reply?

"It's a joke for effs sake"

Ooooooooooh a joke?

Did I just forget to find it funny?

Oh, I get it now. (I actually told her next time to start with something simple like a knock knock joke and build up to something more difficult like how does the chicken cross the road)

So we can say what we like now as long as we add the words "it's a joke"?

We can be cruel, we can be cutting, we can try to rebuild walls that places such as MIND, SANE, Blurt Alerts and The Samaritans have spent years trying to knock down?

We can make insinuations that people are mad, insane, should be locked away, as a joke?

NO WE CAN'T

WE MUST NOT.

Let's not go back to that time when people were scared to talk about mental illness,

Mental illness should not be suffered in silence, and people should not be making jokes about it, trying to force people to once more see it as something shameful they need to hide from the world.

It needs to be kept in the open, people should be able to talk through their problems and issues without the fear of someone trying to shame them into silence.

I will not stand by quietly while someone tries to make mental illness once more something to be ashamed of by using it as a "joke"

And I hope neither do you.

Let me know your thoughts.

Big Fashionista x x

Sorry Monday,

2012-01-30T05:00:00.001Z

Dear Monday,

I've checked my schedule and I'm really sorry but today isn't good for me. I seem to have double-booked you. I know, I know, It's not your fault. It's mine.

I take full responsibility for not being ready for you this week. What can I say, my organisational skills are not what they should be. I do feel terrible about it, I think if my memory serves me correctly I may well have tried to cancel on you once or twice before. (okay, possibly every week since time began) but COME ON Monday, you are just crowding me now.

Every week? You try to visit more than my mother does!!! (and are just as welcome. Kidding mother, I'm kidding) Monday, it is just that you are so NEEDY, every week you come back like a glutton for punishment. You are like a bouncy little puppy around my ankles, getting all excited and begging me to play (please don't wee on my shoes this time) it really doesn't matter how often I update my Facebook status telling you to jog on, you just never get the hint. (You remind me of an ex)

I prefer your mate, Tuesday. Not as much as Friday, (or Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday or Thursday for that fact) I must admit, Friday knows how to party. Friday is a true finisher. Monday? meh not so much. You are the beginning.......................

and I don't think I'm finished with last week yet, I don't have time in my diary to begin a whole new week.

So Monday, I seem to have double-booked you with a weekend.

Um, my bad.

Lets try again next week.................................

Oh god I'm sorry, I think I may be washing my hair next week...

Can we both get out our diarys and try to find a time that is convenient for us both?

I think I have a space in March...... Oh hang on, I think my mother is visiting then.

Raincheck Monday?

Anyone else find Monday a bit needy?

or do you welcome the opportunity to start a clean slate each week?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Blog Takeover

2012-01-29T09:16:00.000Z

Morning all you lovely lot,

So I have had an idea, It's nearly February, there is a strong chance of snow and some of us out there are crazed with hunger and dieting

We need a distraction.

So why not have a blog swap?

I'm not talking about swapping pretties, (or children-although if anyone wants mine? Anyone?) I'm talking about a blog takeover.

A group of bloggers all swapping blogs and guest posting on someone elses blog all on the same day.

Now you don't have to be a beauty blogger to take part, I'm looking for bloggers from all walks of life, Tech blogs, cooking blogs, parent blogs, It doesn't matter.

It also isn't important how many blog followers you have. What I am going to do is put everyones name in a bag and pull them out blind so that it will all be down to chance.

I think this is a great way to introduce your blog to a wider audience, a great way to make new blog friends and build upon our audiences.

It is still in the early stages at the moment but firstly I want to make a list of everyone who may be interested.

Leave your name below and I will add you to the list, if you are on twitter leave your twitter name so I have a way of reaching you.

Let's have some fun with this

Are you interested?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Small business Weekend, Open promotion

2012-01-28T10:36:00.000Z

As you all know lately I have been blogging at the weekends promoting small businesses and it is something I really enjoy doing. There are a lot of companies out there that need our support, times are hard and if big companies like Peacocks can go under then it must be a hell of a lot more worrying for small businesses who are struggling to keep afloat.

I have a shoulder injury at the moment which has been dragging me down, (Torn rotator cuff, not nice) My cortisone injection has worn off completely and I can't get another appointment until March so I am currently experimenting with lots of lovely different pain killers to try to deaden the pain a bit.

The problem is that leaves me with the attention span of a goldfish,(Ooooooooh shiny) and left to me I would probably write about how everything was "amazing" or "fluffy"
(Seriously, someone needs to take this keyboard off of me before I start telling you stories about lepri, leper, leprachauns or something)

So let's try something different today

DO YOU HAVE A SMALL BUSINESS?

Want some extra promotion?

Then tell me a bit about your company in the comments, spam me with links to your site, promote yourself, I'm turning my comments over to you so my readers can take a look at your site and hopefully find a new company that they love and want to buy lots of your beautiful products.

I look forward to reading about your sites x x x

Let me know about your company

Big Fashionista

Nom or Vom

2012-01-27T05:00:00.001Z

Look at me, I'm calm, in fact I am so calm I may as well just piss glitter and fart rainbows.
(The painkillers have now kicked in, if I go off topic, just push me gently in the right direction-thanks)

Um, where were we?

Ah yes, Friday. Nom or Vom.

Thursday morning I was listening to the radio and I hear the crazy dulcet tones of Nicolas Cage.

Oh that voice, that voice............. (Swoon)

Even his voice was enough to make me melt,

And let us not forget he does do crazy very very well. (I do like crazy)

Let me show you some pictures of the one and only................

Nicolas Cage

So Ladies & Gentlemen,

Nicolas Cage?

Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Blog competitions? Good Idea or just free ads?

2012-01-26T05:00:00.001Z

A little while ago I covered Blog Awards right here on my blog, I had a humourous dig at the magazines involved while trying to keep it all fluffy and light and quite friendly. (For me any way)

Since my little rant I have discovered that the latest blog award is going to be held at breakfast time. I won't lie, I think I let out a small wee due to laughing so hard in disbelief. There is nothing like holding the award ceremony in the morning to make a blogger feel special is there? (Keeps the alcohol budget down I suppose)

But let me put that to one side for just a minute to discuss another way that I feel bloggers are being exploited.

Blog competitions.

Or as I like to think of them, Free ads for the companies and yet another way for companies to drive YOUR traffic towards their site and increase their visitors.

"For your chance to win free shoes for a year, all you have to do is blog a short article on your favourite pair of shoes from our site"

(Hang on, isn't that an unpaid SPONSORED POST? An AD?)

Yes these companies can offer great prizes,

(Of course they can, they don't have to spend any of their advertising budget this quarter do they? Bloggers are doing it for them)

When a company offers a great prize then obviously bloggers are going to enter in droves. As with blog awards I really don't blame any blogger for entering.

I blame the companies for feeling that they can take advantage of us.

If companies are TRULY looking for a quality blogger then why not ask bloggers to write a short article on how wonderful their products are and then e-mail it in to the company?

That is what you do if you are looking for quality and not just a raised profile and increased traffic to your site.

And to say any different is in my opinion, just patronising.

The company I saw yesterday doing exactly this has also taken it that one step further.

Once they have reaped the rewards of having bloggers post their free ads praising their shoes they will then choose the top five and then those five will have to "THRASH IT OUT ON TWITTER" (their words, not mine) and ask people to vote for them,

The one with the most votes, wins.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh a popularity contest?

Always a good way to get bloggers on side (add sarcastic face here)

Personally I don't think Blog competitions are a good thing. You may think differently, I would love to hear your opinions please.

And I've just had an interesting thought, Do you think I could enter this blog post as a competition entry?

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Moral Superiority

2012-01-25T05:00:00.001Z

Working from home has its advantages, and one of those advantages has to be the option of feeling morally superior to the plebs who appear on Jeremy Kyle every morning.

Let us be honest here, it really isn't difficult to feel morally superior to a Jeremy Kyle guest is it?

Even my cats feel superior to a JK guest, and they lick their own bums clean. My cats that is, not the Jeremy Kyle guests (although there was that one contestant.......)

Where shall I start?

Firstly, What sort of person decides to air their dirty laundry in public anyway?

You don't think the baby is YOURS?

Let's call Jeremy Kyle, He can sort it out, In fact, bring the whole family, have an away day, bring a scrunchie, have a party.

While we are on the subject of scrunchies, let's talk fashion sense. Now if someone held a gun to my head and told me I HAD to appear on Jeremy Kyle or else, then I would damn well make sure I looked my best, and I'm not talking about getting my best tracksuit cleaned and polishing my sovereigns (And that's just the women) I have yet to see a guest on Jeremy Kyle make a real effort, Now someone may object to me saying this and bleat that the production team persuade the guests to "keep it real" and dress down.

I would be the (unwilling) guest arguing that yes I do wear these Louboutins to do the weekly shop in ACTUALLY, and the only way I wouldn't be wearing them is if a producer tore them from my cold dead feet.

GOT IT.

But no, the Jeremy Kyle guests roll up like they are late for the school run, and then proceed to tear strips out of each other like fishwives, It is perfect morning television for if you are feeling grotty and low, if you have had a row with your partner or just if you want to sneer at chavs.

It is the human equivalent of watching animals in a zoo, the only thing missing is the occasional faeces throwing (Although they may have cut that bit out, who knows) it gives us a chance to see people at their worst. I really don't know what drives people to think that airing their problems on a TV show can help.

Can you imagine your child in the future finding out that there was doubts about who their daddy was? From reruns of Jeremy Kyle on Watch or Dave 15 years down the line? For me as a normal person that just doesn't bear thinking about. The difference is the people who DO appear, really don't give a stuff, in fact it probably doesn't even cross their tiny little minds.

I am just positively moist with moral superiority aren't I?

You should try it, just don't get too sucked in.

And if you start googling scrunchies, let me know,

I'll just add you to the list of people I can feel morally superior too.

Do you watch it?

Let me know your feelings on the programme.

Big Fashionista x x

Week Three weigh-in

2012-01-24T13:35:00.000Z

Week three already?

That has gone quick.

Im starting to see results now in my actual figure, clothes are fitting me a lot better, and some which didn't fit me at all I can now get into.

I have measured myself and in three weeks I have lost 3 inches off my bust (Not entirely sure I'm happy with that) 2" off my waist and 2" off my hips too.

I'm not going to give you a lesson about dieting here, let's face it, we know what we have to do it is just about putting those lessons into practice. I finally got myself in a place where I was ready to diet again and I'm really glad that I did.

How did I do this week?

I lost another 3lb.

Making 12lb in three weeks.

Hoping to lose another 3lb next week so I can say I have now lost 1 stone something,

I haven't given myself a target weight and I never will do. I find that if I do that when I get close to it I seem to panic and self-sabotage myself. I am just going week by week and stone by stone. I will know when I am ready to just start maintaining instead of losing.

How has your week been if you are dieting too?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Keep calm, KEEP CALM?

2012-01-24T05:00:00.001Z

Like Katie Price in her Jordan phase and Heidi & Seals wedding planner, I guess some things just come to the end of their usefulness.

I'm talking about the phenomenon that is

Ok, it was cute at first, then it just seemed to turn into a mild case of Thrush (slightly annoying and difficult to get rid of) but now it turned into a monster.

Cups, teatowels, little BBM icons, everywhere I turn I'm being told to Keep Calm.

I REALLY don't like being told what to do.

There is a man in my house?

I know what I will do,

Keep Calm

and possibly eat cupcakes or something kitsch and quirky like that.

Nope, what I would probably do is Keep Calm and Keep Shooting, Wonder if there is a poster for that?

Oh.............................................

Keep calm? What if I don't want to Keep Calm? I don't really like calm anyway. And if I'm being told to keep calm then the chances are I'm going to go Bat-shit crazy just for the hell of it.

Apparently, as long as I Keep Calm I can do anything that I want to do,

Buy Shoes

Eat Cake

Go Shopping

Drink Tea

The world is my lobster as long as I Keep Calm...........

Do you think Anger Management therapists are aware of this fact? It would certainly make therapy a lot quicker and easier if they just handed out little postcards, or in group therapy everyone sat around drinking coffee out of Keep Calm Mugs.
(I imagine someone in the NHS is out there now taking notes-Using a Keep Calm pen I bet ya)

Personally I've had enough of this crap now.

Yes it was fun, it was a brilliant piece of nostalgia that deserved to be revisited but for the love of BLOG, let it go.

Let us all take one more sip from our mugs, wipe something up with our teatowels and salute our postcards,

But if you don't start letting it go and moving on, it is gonna take a hell of a lot more that a Keep Calm poster to actually Keep me Calm,

Consider yourself warned.

And Eat Cake if you must (Save me a slice though)

What do you think, Is it time to move on or are you still getting pleasure from the Keep Calm phenomenon?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Suits you sir

2012-01-23T05:00:00.000Z

I have a fetish (Ok, I have lots, what can I say, I'm bad to the bone) and there is nothing guaranteed to make me go weak at the knees (erm, does that sound WRONG?) quicker than a man................. (hang on, there's more, I am slightly more discerning than a Take Me Out contestant where the only requirements seem to be a pulse and a good pair of shoes. Shoes optional)

A man in a suit.

Now I don't mean any man in a suit. I like a man in a suit that doesn't usually wear a suit, but when he needs to wear that suit, he can wear it with arrogance and the knowledge he looks good. (daaaaaaaaaamn good)

Unfortunately I live in East London, The one suit man of East London rarely owns his suit for going out, he has his suit for going away, The court appearance suit. (Which can also handily double as a funeral suit) It isn't an expensive well cut suit by any means, the shirt isn't a beautifully thick shirt with which he can wear cufflinks (usually the sleeves are quite loose so they can be pushed up for handcuffs) and the chances are it was bought on the advice of his "brief" who advised him to smarten up his act.

If a man is going to own just one suit then it needs to be a good one, If I'm going to look you up and down and imagine you shrugging off the jacket and slooooowly unbuttoning the shirt to the tune of Nickelback Rockstar (That's a whole other story) then I don't want to be dazzled by the shinyness of your cheap suit. That is not going to float my boat in any way shape or form.

A man in a suit is sexy, Especially when you aren't used to seeing him in one. Think a bit of rough, Statham, Vin Diesel, All suited and booted ready to sweep you off your feet?

Just one word of advice one suit guy.

Wear a "comedy" tie with your suit and I WILL tie you up with it.

(And not in a good way)

What do you think, A man in a suit? Does it work for you?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x

Rockalily Lipsticks

2012-01-22T10:31:00.000Z

There are certain things that ALL women should own, Matching underwear, heels that you can't stand up in, the same handbag in different colours.....

and a kick-arse red lipstick.

I have all of the above, except for the red lipstick bit, I will be honest with you, I get confused by tones, shades, I don't know whether I need to go for a scarlett red, or a pink red or a brown red.

But there is a website out there that is trying to help.

www.rockalily.com are bringing you red lipsticks in shades that suit everyone. Four core shades that cover everyones individual style.

And it always helps that ReeRee Rockette has the COOLEST style I know.

Take a look.

The four core shades are beautiful but Rockalily have taken it that that one step further and have introduced a limited collection of more shades which are just as beautiful.
even the names are achingly cool.

Sailors Beware
Mans Ruin
Vintage Vixen
Mermaid

And I can't write this without mentioning the upcoming collaboration between Rockalily and gorgeous blogger The London Lip Gloss, look out for ZOMG coming soon.

You can buy the lipsticks at www.rockalily.com

Go and take a look and tell me what your favourite is. I think Roulette Red is mine.

Let me know yours

Big Fashionista x x

Lovely Vintage Emporium

2012-01-21T05:00:00.001Z

At the weekend I like to feature small businesses on the internet that I think would be of interest to people who read my blog.

And I have noticed that you the readers have style, taste and are serious about fashion. Now whether you are a huge fan of all things vintage or the sort of person that thinks a piece of classic, well made designer vintage can add that something extra to your wardrobe you NEED to check out my favourite Vintage website Lovelys Vintage

Owned and ran by Lynnette, whom, I adore, this site has something for EVERYONE, from jewellery to scarves all the way through to rare Chanel and Jackets. Every piece is sourced by Lynnette and she definitely knows her stuff.

Want to see some of the products currently available from Lovelys Vintage ?

Of course you do.

Now bear with me as this next part is quite picture heavy, I kept finding more things that I wanted to show you. I love absolutely everything I am showing you here.

Everything you see here is currently available from Lovelys Vintage, but if you see something you like, get in there fast, things go very quickly.

Another thing I love about Lovelys Vintage site is Lynnettes blog, always informative, always fun and always a really great read. Go take a look by clicking ----> HERE

So run my little vintage fashionistas, run and see for yourself the beauty of Lovelys Vintage. Tell me what you love about the site, and if you buy anything, come back and let me know what you bought and what you intend to wear it with.

Don't forget to let me know x x x

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2012-01-20T05:00:00.001Z

Looking for these sizzling hot men is getting harder and harder I must admit.

I know, I know, I'm not going to get any sympathy for combing the internet for pictures of hot men purely in the name of research, (Hard life and all that,)

This weeks Nom or Vom was suggested to me today and the minute I heard his name I thought YES (Yes, yes, oooooooooooh yes., lights cigarette)

Whether you love him as Jack Bauer or my personal favourite, David from The Lost Boys (He could've bitten me anytime, I wouldn't have put up a struggle) Keifer Sutherland has something about him that appeals to a wide range of females and males.

Ladies & Gentlemen

Kiefer Sutherland

Channelling his inner David Caruso (we should all do this more often I think *Takes off glasses to emphasise point*)

No words, just stare.

Mr Jack Bauer I presume?

Cheers Keifer, raises glass in agreement.

Ooooooooooh, Keifer, it's all flooding back how much I had a crush on you in this film. (checks I have dvd in cupboard)

So what do we think?

Keifer Sutherland?

Nom or Vom

Blur-ring the lines

2012-01-19T10:05:00.000Z

Oh Alex James, what has become of you?

I remember when you were achingly cool and despite being more of an Albarn girl myself I could respect that you were hip and forged in the fires of awesomeness.

Then you became addicted to cheese and we all worried as you turned your back on the hedonistic world of Brit Pop to dream up new fantastic types of cheese for us all to drool over.

(Personally I'd have preferred a new Blur album)

You basically became a cheese bore, a mini babybellend if you will. But we put up with it because part of us hoped that one day you would again help bring Brit pop back just like Justin Trousersnake brought the sexy back. (I do like some Brit pop)

Well that's never going to happen now.

Now I don't know if Mr James had a huge bill to pay, Perhaps had a lorryload of kumquats and potatoes coming for his next cheese invention and no way of paying for it but he wrote an article for The Sun newspaper basically extolling the virtues of fast food in a way that I never thought I would hear him or anyone else with a conscience do.

I really am hoping that the whole thing was tongue-in-cheek, (Or he had a gun at his head) I have heard Alex James in the past raving over fresh, high quality food and how it is so important and yet now he is comparing McDonalds to a Michelin starred restaurant (I'm sure he wouldn't like it if I compared his cheese to Dairylea would he?)

And I do get the feeling that Alex James has "dumbed it down" for his audience, he occasionally slips in a comment about things such as Kentucky-fried Grouse or being "backstage" at a restaurant as if he is reminding us although he may be writing for his target audience, he can't help but remind people he isn't actually one of them. He is Alex James don't you know? (He makes cheese)

Am I disappointed that Alex James has come across as a sell-out?

Yes I am, the whole thing smacked of complete advertorial content.

If I wrote a post like that, I would have to disclose that it was a sponsored post, (Sponsored by Greggs? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, call me) But no, Alex James has wrapped it up in a pretty bow and handed it to readers as a completely independent study into fast food.

Which it obviously isn't,

I'm off to listen to Parklife and wait for Gordon Ramsey to realise he has been unfavourable compared to a spread from Greggs. Can't imagine that's going to go down well. A bit like your cheese hey Alex?

What do you think?

Was Alex James being honest in his article or do you think he may as well just get some Golden Arches tattoo'd on his arse and have done with it?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x

A friendly troll

2012-01-18T05:00:00.001Z

This is a really hard post to write, In fact I think I have written and deleted the first paragraph about four times now.

Deep breathe and try again.

As a blogger I get invited to launches and press days quite a lot these days. I'm not bragging, it's just a statement of fact.

And my instant reaction to each invite is to immediately turn it down flat.

My problem is that I suffer from incredibly crippling shyness. The thought of meeting lots of amazing bloggers at an event fills me with such horror that I can turn almost rigid with fear.

Put me at a computer and I have an opinion on everything, I am loud, (hopefully funny) bossy and extremely opinionated. I write a good game,

(I'm like a friendly troll. One who uses her skills for good rather than evil)

But put me in a real life situation? Yeah, I'm the one vomiting in a corner.

Are you surprised by my admission?

I may come across as a confident person on my blog, but I always feel that in real life I will be a disappointment to people, I'm not going to be falsely modest here, I KNOW I can write. but I don't think I translate as well in real life. I'm a short little fat bird who desperately tries to melt in to the background because I think no-one would be interested in what I have to say.

I turn down events, I put off meeting incredible people and for that I apologise. (We must do lunch is probably my most over-used sentence ever) I really do want to meet people, and be a part of the blogging community, I just can't seem to get over that first hurdle of fear, so I isolate myself and I know that end the end the invites will tail off and I will have no-one to blame but myself.

I can't attend events in the evening at the moment as my family comes first but I have made a promise to myself that this is the year I need to overcome this shyness if I want to carry on.

I don't want to be a friendly troll anymore. I want to meet people and overcome my fears. (And not get to the door and then run away sobbing which believe it or not I have done before at a press day-silly cow)

I AM making a start. I have agreed to give a talk at Cybher UK in a couple of months and later on today I am doing something fun that as soon as I can, I will be telling you all about.

It's go BIG or go home.

I'm throwing myself in at the deep end.

And hopefully not throwing up in the deep end as well.

So share with me, does anyone else feel the same way? Or has anyone out there overcome their shyness?

Or does anyone just want to give me a hug?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Weigh in week 2

2012-01-17T12:03:00.000Z

So here we are, week 2. it came around really fast this time. Whereas the first week dragged its arse like a dog with worms, this week I found myself with a lot more energy and the week has gone so much quicker.

I found that the cravings have been a lot easier to deal with as well. I still had a lot of times when I would have eaten your eyes for a bar of chocolate, but that went pretty fast and I found ways to distract myself easily whereas last week I would have cried (Ok, I did cry a couple of times)

One thing that I loved about this diet last time and it has helped me to settle in a lot easier and quicker this time is the way how it helps me to be inventive and creative. Whereas I used to choose pasta as a quick comfort food (Alright three packets of crisps, you got me) instead I am slicing peppers and onion and celery for a quick stir fry.

And I am enjoying it.

I am keeping up with my water intake as well to combat the vicious headaches I have been suffering and what I have been doing as well is drinking hot water instead of having coffee so I am lowering my caffeine intake considerably (That may explain my threat to eat peoples eyes, although that might just be me.)

One thing I have noticed this week is my usually bad skin is so so so much worse, I am suffering from quite painful sore spots at the moment and that does drag me down a lot. but I am trying to think of them as all the crap leaving my system and be positive about it instead of surfing the internet for a gimp mask (Never know when it would come in handy)

So how did I do this week?

I lost 3lb.

I wanted 4lb but I'm not going to complain, that is still 9lb in two weeks and I am in a really positive frame of mind whereas before I had been able to do a week of a diet and then I lose my willpower and fall off the wagon and land face first in a cream cake. Something has just clicked again this time and I am ready to get back in the saddle and keep going,

This week I am going to introduce some exercise into my new lifestyle and get back on my bike.

I love this new journey of 2012 and I am really willing to give it 100% and keep it up.

3lb off?

Yes I am happy with that. Roll on next week

Big Fashionista x x

Yacht a mistake

2012-01-17T05:00:00.001Z

So the Education Secretary Michael Gove has called for the Queen to be honoured with a new yacht to celebrate her Jubilee has he?

Firstly, Well now you've just gone and ruined the surprise haven't you Mr Gove (You spoilsport)

Secondly, If I was Mrs Gove and I had an anniversary coming up, I would certainly expect nothing less than a new car!!!

Anything less than that Mrs Gove and I would be banishing Michael to the spare house ASAP.

Can you imagine it if she got something for the house? "So the QUEEN gets a yacht and I get a BLOODY Hoover? Oh hell no you cock."

I really don't know why people are so shocked that a member of parliament can get it so wrong and in these harsh and uneasy times call for the queen to be given a yacht.

Now I don't care whether it is coming out of my pocket or not, I really don't want to hear about someone receiving a yacht as a pressie. Hell I get jealous hearing that someone has received a new lipstick, a yacht is going to tip me over the edge. (and I'm teetering, teetering I tell you)

And who is going to wrap the bloody thing anyway????
(Don't look at me, I'm awful with sellotape)

The only way I can be on board with this yacht gift is if the queen receives it and then hands it back to the nation like a giant UK timeshare.

If that happens then I will gladly sing Happy Birthday and act all surprised when she unwraps it.

And then put my name down for August bank holiday 2013.

That's MY weekend ok?
Back off.

What do you think?

Will Mrs Gove be disappointed with her anniversary gift this year?

Should the Queen receive a new Yacht for her Jubilee

And does anyone know why the Education Secretary is getting involved in anything other that say, educationy sort of things?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Intro music

2012-01-16T05:00:00.001Z

I have come to the conclusion over the weekend, I need an intro tune.

It's true, I do.

I have spent an unhealthy amount of time over this last week watching people on the TV walk into rooms to bangin' tunes, and I want IN.

Now I pretty much walk to the beat of a tune anyway, Have you ever seen Tony Manero strutting down the road in Stayin Alive?

Yeah THAT'S how I roll

(I actually don't, but please, just nod and agree with me here, leave me with just this one thing I beg you)

But when contestants on Take Me Out (Oh that is a whole other blog post for later on in the week) and darts players start to enter the room to songs such as Let Me Be Your Fantasy, Chelsea Dagger, Town Called Malice and Welcome To The Jungle................

I have to wonder why this doesn't happen for me on a daily basis.

I think it really should, don't you?

But then comes the worry of picking a tune. Would I have a signature tune that played instantly whenever I walked into a room, or would I be able to change my song depending on my mood. (some poor git is going to have to carry around a hell of a lot of CDs)

It's a tough one, A signature tune? Wow. That is building you up to a point where you have to prove your worth within seconds.

I'm leaning towards Bitch by Meredith Brookes.

I think I could find ways to live up to that one don't you?

What do you think?

Would you like a theme tune to accompany you whenever you entered a room?

What would be your intro tune?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Diamonds & Daggers,

2012-01-15T05:00:00.002Z

Before christmas I started a series at the weekends promoting small businesses that I thought were interesting and different. It is a hard time for small businesses at the moment and I think it is important to support small businesses wherever possible.

Today is the turn of

http://diamondsanddaggers.com

I love all things sparkly, in fact if you checked closely you may find I am part magpie. (Or possibly Dory from Finding Nemo, ooooooh shiny)

Want to see some sparkly things?

Of course you do

I'm loving this necklace, it could make a fantastic Valentines day gift for a loved one.
£15.00 and comes in various colours

Magic mushroom earrings? Superb. £9.00 and various colours available

Such a cute brooch and only £10.00

Personalised phone case? Some bling with your ring perhaps. £35.00

More hearts, awwwwwwwwwwww. This personalised letter case is £35.00

I am loving this T-shirt, the cut, the style and understated sparkles. £35.00

If I had legs like this gorgeous model I would dress like this constantly. I love this T with the upside down cross and I know so many people it would suit. £35.00

So what do you think of Diamonds & Daggers?

What is your favourite piece from their website?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

The misery hat

2012-01-14T05:00:00.001Z

Whether it is my diet, the fact that I am a hormonal wreck or all the crappy stuff going on in my life at the moment, currently I am suffering a huge case of ..............

"The Miseries"

You all know the miseries right? Have you been formally introduced to them? It is a time in your life when you just give in to all bleurgh and meh and just ride the wave of feeling sorry for yourself for a couple of days before dragging your sorry arse up out of it and giving yourself a swift slap for being such a drama queen.

Yes, THOSE miseries.

Well welcome to mine. Now usually I drown my miseries in chocolate, cakes and all sorts of stuff that is bad for you and yet tastes so so good. but unfortunately that isn't an option at the moment and for some reason sobbing into a bag of pumpkin seeds just isn't really having the same effect (funny that huh?)

But I have noticed something today that before had passed me by and now I have a little chicken & egg situation going on.

I have a hat. A green knitted hat, it has a bobble on the end of it, it is quite a long hat and it is old and fluffy and I think that maybe it smells. (yeah it does)

and whenever I feel sad I wear the hat.

BUT, do I wear the hat because I am sad, or do I feel I sad because I wear the hat?

Does the hat just reinforce my sadness? Or help me to get over it.

What do you think?

Do you have something you cling to when you are suffering a case of the miseries? Do you find that it helps?

Or should I just burn the hat?

(I should burn the hat shouldn't I?)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Nom or Vom part 2

2012-01-13T14:25:00.000Z

So although most of my audience are female I do have quite a few fantastic followers of the male persuasion and some female followers who would prefer if occasionally I did a Nom or Vom they could participate in.

So just for you guys because I loves ya.

It is Nom or Vom part 2.

What do we think Gentlemen and Ladies,

Mila Kunis

Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2012-01-13T05:00:00.001Z

In keeping with my new healthy lifestyle programme, for inspiration I decided to watch a programme that has just started on Sky One called Obese: A Year To Change My Life.

Thank you Sky One,

You have brought into my life the most gorgeous fitness trainer Jessie Pavelka.

And when a hot fit man pings my Nom radar I feel it is my DUTY to bring him to your attention. (See what I do for you? This constant research is exhausting, exhausting I tell you)

Ladies and Gentlemen, for todays Nom or Vom I bring you

Jessie Pavelka

Phew, Is it hot in here or is it this guy?

This guy could save my life any day of the week.

He is a fine specimen of a man isn't he?

Part of me thinks it would be worthwhile getting really obese so this guy could work me out for a year. (loses self for a bit)

Oh hang on, he has a mean face.................. I LIKE it. (shivers)

So what do you think?

Wouldn't you like a hot, sweaty session with this guy?
(Or would you like to do some exercise with him? )

Is he a Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

So you want to date a blogger?

2012-01-12T05:00:00.001Z

Everywhere I turned yesterday I saw people talking about a fab post doing the rounds about dating someone in PR, I first read about it here on http://hannahsnote.com/ if you want to take a look.

Well PRs you thought YOU were high-maintenance?
(erm, you did realise you are high-maintenence right?)

Meet the bloggers.

So you want to date a blogger?

Let me fill you in on a few facts before you dive in.

We are social media butterflies.

Bloggers are hugely social beings, if you so much as wink at a blogger they can put the word out and find out everything about you, and yes I do mean EVERYTHING. Before you know it they will have the name of your first pet, have added your mates on the Book of Face and courtesy of Google Maps they know where you live and probably have tweeted your ex for a bedroom reference. (By DM of course, we aren't animals) Social Media is what bloggers do. and we do it very, very well.

We love to share.

Bloggers keep hardly anything sacred. Names may be changed to protect the guilty but anything you say to a blogger is fair game for a blog post. Heaven help you if you have an argument. Before you know it, the full facts as they see them will have been posted on their blog for everyone to comment upon.

Did you have a bedroom "malfunction"?

That is a blog post just waiting to happen

Called your blogger by the wrong name?

New blog post online (bastard)

Anything you say can & will be used in evidence against you in a court of Blog.

And if you are dating a beauty blogger, there will be one point in your relationship when your skin will no longer belong to you. You might as well chuck yourself in a cage and call yourself Fluffy, you will be a guinea pig pure and simple. Creams, lotions and potions will all be slathered upon your skin in the name of research for the blog. You might as well just sit back and enjoy the new softness of your skin.

Peoples opinions matter

Erm, just not always yours. If a blogger needs an opinion, we will write a blog post about it. ( Are you starting to see a pattern forming here?) We also follow lots of other bloggers with specialised skills, we can ask THEIR opinion. There is a plus side to this though, you will never hear those words "Does this skirt make my bum look fat?" That is what Twitter is for, one Twitpic and those all important opinions will come flooding in in seconds. Never again will you panic and accidently reply "No, your fat arse makes your fat arse look fat" (That one IS going to end up in a blog post, you know that right?)

We are passionate

About our blogs, (what did you think I mean? This isn't Match.com you know) We put in blood, sweat and tears to make it work, we are constantly thinking about our next post, how to improve our photography skills, our writing style. You see that little notebook we carry around like it is a signed picture of Harry Styles penis? It isn't our diary, it is our little scribble book of ideas, If we misplace that, our world collapses. (although if you find it, then you will see just how passionate we can be)

We know whats hot or not

Dahhhhhhhling we MAKE it hot or not ;-D
Bloggers have their fingers on the pulse so hard that we know if something is dead before IT even does. And yes that does include your relationship.

Just hope and pray that one day, we don't break up with you by blog post.

Still want to date a blogger?

Are you happy to be known as the bloggers latest follower?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x

Peppa the naughty pig

2012-01-11T05:00:00.001Z

Now many, many a time (especially at the moment) I have dreamt of giving that naughty little minx Peppa Pig a big cuddle.

A big warm cuddle between two slices of bread with a side hug of ketchup.

I am not a big fan of the pig they call Peppa, George or any of her family and friends. In fact they make my teeth itch. But this is purely because I have Peppa Pig overload.

In my house there is a Peppa Pig lunchbox, She takes up most of my Sky Plus planner with her sneaky little 5 minute episodes, there are welly boots, a coat, books, pencils, you name it, it probably has Peppa Pig stitched, stamped or painted on it. If it hasn't, then my child has probably stuck a Peppa sticker on it (remind me to get that off the cat soon)

BUT.................................................................

At no point in my pyschopathic hatred of Peppa have I ever thought that she was a bad influence on my children because she is naughty!!

A pain in my arse? Maybe. But naughty?

You know this is a cartoon right?

If we are going to pick a TV programme as a bad influence I am damn sure that between us we can come up with something a lot worse than Peppa Pig.

I was brought up on Tom & Jerry, and it never did me any harm (Hits Mr F round the head with a frying pan)

That damn cat and mouse were evil to each other, but you don't see me stealing car radios or chilling out in a crack den at the weekends.

Course you don't.

So, I hear you ask, what has this Peppa Pig done to cause such uproar? Why are people thinking of teaching her a lesson by hanging her up in a dry cupboard seasoned in salt!!!

Well apparently there are children out there that have taken to jumping up and down in muddy puddles!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Small ones have been telling their parents NO

And, AND they have been saying YUK to vegetables.

GASP

Who would have thought that of small children?

It MUST be Peppa Pigs fault. Let us teach her a lesson by slicing her thinly and cooking her. (On the grill of course, I am dieting)

Parents, a newsflash for you. Children say no, and they don't like vegetables, That is why we the parents are the ones who have to do the PARENTING, We don't leave it up to a cartoon pig to teach our children what is right and wrong.

Your child says no, we say yes, Your child refuses to eat their vegetables and demands chocolate cake instead, then WE say no (and find cunning ways to hide their vegetables in their food)

Your child chooses to jump up and down in muddy puddles.

YOU JOIN THEM, hold their hands, laugh and stamp with them.

What kind of parent thinks that jumping up and down in muddy puddles is a bad thing anyway?

A parent that moans about a child jumping up and down in a muddy puddle?

THAT is the bad influence in a childs life.

Not Peppa Pig (although, can we eat her anyway-please?)

What do you think?

Is Peppa a bad influence on your children, or do people need to lighten up a bit?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

The first weigh in

2012-01-10T11:14:00.000Z

So there I am, standing in front of the scales at Boots, removing every single bit of spare clothing that I can think of, (Won't go naked in Boots again, I learnt that lesson) and I am praying to the god of weight loss, (Ricki Lake) that I have had a good week.

There is nothing like it being THAT time of the month, coupled with the first week of a diet to bring out the crazy in me.

I would like to apologise to Mr F, The children, the postman, and all the newsreaders on television I have shouted at and sobbed at (Usually in quick succession) over the last week. I have been a hell bitch on wheels to live with.

But, has it been worth it?

6lb off in my first week.

I can live with that. (especially with the added bonus of a period thrown in just for shit and giggles)

I am hoping that now I am over the first week I will find it a lot easier, the meals haven't been a problem, I enjoy cooking them and being inventive but my body keeps saying "nice meal, where's the cake?" or "Give me chocolate cowface or I will cut ya"

I'm hoping that that voice shuts the hell up this week.

So onwards and downwards I hope.

I want to keep up the momentum and have some good weightlosses over the next couple of weeks. I need to sort out an exercise plan soon but one step at a time.

How did your week go if you have been dieting?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Glossybox December Review

2012-01-10T05:00:00.007Z

I was going to review the Glossybox in depth and choc full of beautiful photographs but

Either Antony Worral-Thompson has had access to my box, or I've used it all. Soz.

I was going to give you pictures of the beautifully scented foaming Rituals shower gel,

But it's gone.

I should be showing you pictures of the rather gorgeous Deborah Lippmann nail varnish Razzle Dazzle that was in the box, along with a sachet of the remover Stripper to go.

But it is snuggled in so nicely with all the other Deborah Lippmann varnishes that I have bought since, I don't want to disturb it. (My bank manager curses you GlossyBox, curses you)

The Nip + Fab spot fix?

It's in one of my handbags ready to use in an emergency.

The Blinc & Go Eyeshadow and blush?

The perfect shade of green is almost gone!!!! Gone, oh the shame.

I should be able to show you the Cargo Lipgloss in all it's glory........

But that has definitely gone, I glossed my lips so many times over christmas even the mistletoe got bored of me.

Erm....................................

erm....................................

The box is nice, Look.

And yes, the rather festive box has also..............................GONE.

This GlossyBox was AMAZING. I truly loved every single product. Yes all the products are well and truly gone or are well on the way to being gone, all would be repurchased and in the case of the Deborah Lippmann nail varnish, has been purchased already in many, many different colours.

Nice work GlossyBox

Can't wait for Januarys box.

Big Fashionista x x

Blog Awards Email

2012-01-09T13:25:00.001Z

This is the email I want to receive one day soon.

Dear Blogger (getting off to a good start here)

This is (insert generic magazine name here, I don't really want to be sued, I have nothing)

and we are starting our very own BLOG AWARDS!!!!!!!!

As you may or not be aware, soon it is the time when we renew our advertising contracts and really we could do with a big boost in hits, (plus our Klout score is looking a bit crappy) What we are looking for is MAXIMUM exposure (For the magazine) and in return we are offering.......................

Absolutely nothing.

What we will do is throw you a bone every now and then by possibly, maybe, letting you write for us just the once, which we will send you a link to so that you can RT the arse out of it on Twitter (Still thinking of our Klout here) But once the initial excitement has died down and we have sealed some really juicy advertising contracts then it goes without saying we will deny all knowledge of your existence and will hit delete on all your emails without even reading,

We will of COURSE give you a shiny little badge for your blog, we know how you hairy-armed bloggers love a badge. This is to direct even more traffic towards our website and subliminally imprint our name onto all your readers brains forever, we aren't animals, we will make it sparkly.

A link on our website to your blog? Um we don't actually have the capabilities to do that at the moment, but trust me, we will be getting cupcakes with your names on them!!!!!!!!!

Good luck to us, I mean you in our fabulous Blog Awards, We love blogs, we really do. we put up with them all the time.

Yours Sincerely

Huge importantant magazine editor.

(written by intern)

Culling the gifts

2012-01-09T05:00:00.001Z

So now everyone who has children is currently exhaling like a (insert your own exhaling joke here, my brain is fried from this diet) It is the first full week they go back to school and I am exhaling like an extractor fan here.

Now it is time to do the most important job you can ever do as a parent.

Christmas is over, It's time to cull the presents.

You know what I'm saying here? Parents it is time to remove the things designed to damage the kids, your house or even you.

You can tell how much your family loves or loathes you by the presents your offspring receive at christmas. Not the main presents obviously, that is too easy. I'm talking about stocking fillers here.

For example,

Felt tips,

It takes a special kind of sadist to wrap up felt tips as a christmas present for a child, You can practically see them giggling away in their sleeves as they imagine those bad boys being unwrapped by your very own budding mini Banksy who only has guerrilla graffiti on their mind. (Oh look, a new piece of of artwork has appeared on the living room wall- Awwwww, lovely. Grinds teeth)

Plasticine,

Yet another gift that just keeps on giving, especially if there is a whole set of weapons, I mean cutters, rollers and mashers. You know the stuff? The stuff that buries itself into your carpet like an IED, ready to rise up and be trodden in all over again. The stuff sticks like shit to a blanket and it doesn't matter how many different colours of it you buy, before you know it you have a huge ball of brown stuff that has picked up dirt, food and all kinds of other suspicious things that you don't want to look too closely at.
(That gift is one to be unwrapped, put in a cupboard and then LOST at the first opportunity)

Drum Kit

Basically whoever gave a drum kit to your child HATES you. There is no way of getting around it, They really don't like you, the only way they could be clearer about it is to come up and punch you in the face or send you a card which says "I'm not being funny but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it" (I want that card by the way, do think I can buy it in Clintons?)

Now you may be thinking, (Crap, I better change that birthday present for Kellie's kids) or even, what does this have to do with me? I don't have children. But if you know any small people, or think that you may know some small people in the future then you have to think deeply about this. Gifts are a total minefield these days,

and christmas is just an opportunity to either mess it up completely or....................... have a little fun with it.

Next time you open that gift for your two year old precious little Tazmanian Devil wannabe and you find ten pots of glitter and four tubes of superglue............

Think carefully. What did you last buy for their children.........

Oh you didn't?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Well sometimes, you reap what you sew.

So come on, what's the worst gift your child has received this christmas or any other?

Have you had to cull their presents like a group of baby seals?

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x

Fiat 500 and JLo? Not buying it.

2012-01-08T08:21:00.000Z

Can someone text Liv and tell her to send JLo flowers, she is officially off my shit list.

Ok, so I've still not forgiven Liv Tyler completely and I'm still not completely on board with the whole Pantene thing but while I was sitting there grinding my teeth at the superficial bitches on Take Me Out, (No likey, no lighty) the adverts came on and I spat my coffee everywhere and then practiced my bitch face while JLo pranced across my screen in a Fiat!!!!!

A Fiat?

A Fiat?

Now I'm not rich but I will turn out my pockets (Ok, Mr Fashionistas pockets, I'm pretty, not dumb) and my kids money banks and give you every penny they have if you can find me one picture of JLo rolling through Beverley Hills on her day off in her Fiat 500, (I'm pretty sure my (their) money is safe)

It just ain't happening is it?

We ain't fooled by the rocks that she got, (In fact we don't give a crap)

She's still, she's still Jenny from the block, (This was her "street" phase yes?)

She used to have a little, now she gotta lot, (Of NERVE to think we are gonna swallow her as a Fiat driver that is)

She's still Jenny from the block ya know.

Anyone else see the Fiat 500 as more of a rollerskate than a car anyway, the woman has twins for gods sake, there is no way on this fine earth that rollerskate masquerading as a car is going to accommodate JLo's arse, 2 babies, a double buggy and a nanny or two.

Something (other than the husband) has to give.

(Bet it's JLo, "Oh it's ok au pair, I'll take the Escalade, you take the children, I'll meet you there" She's real like that remember? )

There is more chance of me getting caught climbing out the back of VIN Diesel than her being caught climbing out of a Fiat 500.

It isn't even SLIGHTLY believable, I can understand why Pantene wanted Liv, she has beautiful hair, of course they want to put their name to it. But when you think Fiat, you don't immediately think Jennifer Lopez do you? In fact, even after a whole week you probably still wouldn't think Jennifer Lopez, (I wouldn't even think Jennifer Saunders to be fair)

Tom Cruise? Possibly, he's a small man. I could believe that Mr Cruise MAY want a car that would suit his........... um, stature.

But either someone has been smoking waaayyyyyyyy too much green or they put loads of names in a hat and just pulled one out.

Or maybe both? I can see a big group of execs sitting around a table getting high on their own supply, surrounded by cereal boxes and empty wotsits packets and as it gets passed to the left hand side they all had to come up with a name of a celebrity they want to represent Fiat.

They started off with Chico, moved onto Peaches Geldof and as the J's get stronger, the list got wilder.

(I'm going to assume that by the time they got to JLo they were completely monged out of their brain on some industrial strength shit and checking the fridge for leftovers)

Then when they got their people to talk to JLo's people and she said yes they probably thought that they had permanently damaged some cells!!!!

Well either that or they think WE HAVE!!!!!!

Coz i'm not buying a Fiat, and I'm not buying that JLo is either.

From what I've heard she used a body double for most of the advert anyway!!!!

And what does that say about your product if the star you've paid to star in your advert can't even be arsed (No pun intended) to actually star in it? or bear to even sit in the car.

You may like to keep it real JLo,

But so do I

Like HELL do you drive a Fiat.

Liv, come back babe, all is forgiven. By the way Liv, what car do you drive?

Big Fashionista x x

Are we believing that Jenny from the block drives a Fiat?

Or do we think she has just cashed the cheque and put it towards more rocks that we should not be fooled by?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2012-01-06T05:00:00.001Z

New followers of this blog, welcome to Friday, the day when I bring you gratuitious pics of a hot male celeb and then we grade them like prime rump.

Shallow? Yes
Fun? Hell yes.

This week, there can be only one.........................

This guy I actually hold fully responsible for my love of men that are bad to the bone.
(shivers a little bit)
If you are watching Celebrity Big Brother and you are young enough to say Michael WHO then I need you to do some things for me.

Firstly, go rent yourself Reservoir Dogs and don't come back until you can quote me at least ten lines from this film and the WHOLE of the "worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitress" scene (Well I can do it)

Secondly, behold the fine fine specimen that is Michael Madsen

Ladies & Gentlemen

Michael Madsen (In his prime)

I would, I really, really would. In fact I'd do him some serious damage.

Nom nom nom.

What do we think everyone?

Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Spot the difference

2012-01-05T05:00:00.003Z

One thing that I have always been open about is that I have the skin care routine of a frog. A really badly organised frog,

I am lucky that I don't suffer badly with spots, I do suffer but it is usually just one or two spots at a time. The acne fairy seems to have bypassed me in its search for the perfect host.

I go through stages of trying to get my skin sorted and then get lazy and end up sleeping in my make up, (Oh ok, I always sleep in my make up, my bad) then I start to get concerned about wrinkles so I slap on some creams, lotions and potions and then get lazy and.................. you sort of know where I am going with this don't you?

Recently though my skin has been a lot worse.

I have had spots so big that they tried to name ME!!

Some have even tried to squeeze me!!! (I kid you not, some of these buggers hurt)

and how do spots just KNOW to come up the day before something important? It is like they just squat happily under the surface like a beligerant toad (Whats with all the amphibian references today?) just until you need your skin to look its best and then BAM!! Up it pops to sit on the surface and wave at everyone.

And it is always the day before so you have time to play with it, (If I had a quid for everytime I gave myself a Colgate facial then I'd be rolling wiv da rich kids) Toothpaste, a quick squeeze which ALWAYS makes it go redder (why do we always think that will help?) covering it with concealer, then rubbing it a bit, adding more concealer, rubbing it again. What do we think will happen, A bloody genie will appear? (Although to be fair I think there may well have been one in my last huge spot, it was certainly big enough)

Clever little spots always pick their moments don't they?, if it was five minutes before you were due to leave then you'd think oh sod it, it's just a spot.

But the day before? They appear like stealthy spot ninjas and dig in like soldiers on the battlefield.

Giving you time to plan your strategy and approach to the aforementioned ninja spot, which obviously it has also prepared for and then calls in reinforcements.

And before you know it you have a whole bloody battalion on your face.

Bet you wish you'd left it alone now dontcha
(although you know that the next spot that comes along, I'll still be thinking, "Now where did I leave that Colgate"(Other toothpaste brands also available) )

(Look at me getting all tricky with my double brackets)

Now seeing as I started my new healthy living lifestyle on Tuesday I am hoping that ninja assassin spots will soon be part of the past.

But I am making a solemn vow that when the next one comes up I will definitely not be touching it, I will leave it alone to run its course.............

(Looks at toothpaste out of the corner of my eye. Erm, just in case..........)

Do you get spots? What do you do with yours?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Sureslim diet, The beginning (again)

2012-01-04T05:00:00.001Z

Ok, here we are again, People who have been with me for a long time know that last year I lost nearly three stone (ish) by changing my whole lifestyle and eating habits with the help of Sureslim UK.

It works, it does.

I however, seem to be a bit broken.

I have HUGE issues with food that mean that when I am down, I eat, when I am happy, I eat, I use food as a reward, a punishment and a comfort (sometimes all in the same day)

Over christmas I ate myself ready to make that change once again and get back to healthy eating, I know that I can do it, I know that I see results and last time the support from you guys helped me immensely.

So yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in months and faced the fact that I had put on most of the weight I lost last year. It is no excuse but I had an awful last six months of the year and bad food choices were my way of trying to make myself feel better when all I wanted to do was sit in a corner and sob.

DEEP BREATH

I am going to get this out there.

As of yesterday I weigh 14st 12lb

After I had finished swearing at the weighing machine (I nearly got escorted out of Boots the Chemist) I vowed that it is the LAST time I will ever weigh that.

I will be blogging my weight loss journey each week. If you have just started your diet and want to let me know how you get on each week as well that would be great. I think it is always helpful to do this with other people.

I am not seeing this as a diet, It will be a lifestyle change and I am once again looking forward to getting more energy, feeling more confident and being able to wear the clothes I wore last year.

I will update you all next Tuesday on my first weigh in (If I'm not banned from Boots) The last time I did this diet I lost 9lbs in my first week, If I lose 6lb this week I will be happy. (10lb and I'll be over the fucking moon)

Any of you guys started a diet?

Let me know how you are getting on,

Big Fashionista x x

Cereal Killers

2012-01-03T05:00:00.001Z

I remember a time when cereal was just cereal, we ate it and then we looked forward to lunch.

Cereal didn't think that it was special, it knew its place. Occasionally a cereal would try to assert itself in the market, but other cereals would soon slap it back down into place.

Then as time moved on, people began to realise that breakfast was the most important meal of the day.

Cereal sat back and smiled, it knew that its time had come.

Healthy cereal, chocolate cereal, nutty cereal, all the different types of cereal you could think of.

BOOM the market went wild.

Companies started to think that they could tap into other markets.

Instead of just being something we ate in the morning while half asleep inbetween mainlining coffee. (Just me?) cereal tapped into the diet market.

But in a gentle and soft way. No pressure, cereal was there to HELP us.

We were introduced to the world of Special K......................

(Have you guessed where I'm going with this?)

If we ate Special K we would become svelte and look amazing.

Now I've eaten Special K and it tastes like hamster food. But like most people on a diet I have been willing to persevere for the sake of a healthier and fitter body.

Special K has always in the past been seen as there to "help" women. It was like a comforting supportive friend, one that knew we had packed on the pounds a bit (ok, a lot) and wanted to help us, be with us every step of the way and show us how we could look at the end. See, Supportive.

And then we come to their latest delightful advertising campaign.

This is the Kellogs Special K, Dare to Wear Red campaign.

Well excuse me Special K, but if I want to wear red, I bloody well will, without shame or worry that I'm going to offend someones eyes.

I don't have to be thin to wear red.

Special K has turned from the nice comforting supportive friend, to that sneering frenemy bitch who tells you at least you don't have to worry about wrinkles yet as fat people always look younger (You know the one?)

And do you know what I did to the last frenemy in my life? I cut them out of my life without a backwards glance.

See ya.

And that is what I am going to do with Kellogs and their not so Special K hamster food.

I refuse to be sneered at if I wear red. I love red. Red is a sexy, sultry colour that women should wear whatever their size. Colours are not sizest. Colours are designed to make us feel better not worse!!! From red lipstick to red underwear or even a red dress. If you want to wear it, bloody well wear it.

Personally I think that Kellogs have scored an own goal with this campaign.

We don't want to be judged, especially by a cereal company.

But if they are going to judge us, then maybe we as consumers should judge them, by witholding our cash.

Look Kellogs Special K,

I dare to wear red.

What do you think of the Special K campaign?

Do you dare to wear red already?

Big Fashionista x x

Washing that ad right outta my hair

2012-01-02T05:00:00.001Z

Dear Ms Tyler,

I like you, I really do. You were really cute in Armageddon and you were so good in......................
Ok, so that is pretty much the only film I know you were in. (Mr F, loves that film you see, oooh he gets so teary at the end) I'm sure you've done others but to be honest with you, unless there is an oversized Shark or other oversized water based creature such as a Piranha or a Sharktopus (don't ask) terrorizing and getting all bitey with the local community I tend to get bored pretty quickly.

But I digress.

Liv, you stand out because of your silky brunette locks, of which I am really jealous I must admit.

But I have a bone to pick with you.

Now I'm no beauty expert, but I'm pretty sure you are trying to blow smoke up my arse when you tell me that you achieve your luscious locks by using Pantene shampoo.

I'm not knocking Pantene here by the way, it does exactly what it says on the bottle.
(Don't sue me ffs)

But there is more chance of me taking my make up off of a night than you washing your hair in Pantene regularly. (I really don't, I'm a lazy cow like that) Liv, I'm sure you have lots of bottles in your palatial home that Pantene have sent to you as part of the contract but that doesn't mean you actually use them does it?

Does ANYONE believe it when a huge star endorses a product these days anyway?

Listen up brands because I have a fabulous idea.

Drop the celebrities and the film stars. we don't believe a word of it. (Cynical lot that we are)

Instead, why not hire some bloggers to endorse your products in ad campaigns.

I can imagine the glamorous Louise from Get Lippie http://getlippie.blogspot.com/ being the poster girl of all things Tom Ford. I'd certainly believe her when she told me she wore the lipstick frequently and we should too.

And the first nail polish company that snaps up Helen from Just Nice Things http://www.just-nice-things.co.uk/ would get me buying the whole range she endorsed and begging for more

and if I saw Caroline Hirons from Beauty Mouth http://www.beautymouth.com on my television box telling me to purchase a certain skincare range........... oh hang on, I HAVE !!!!!!

But you get my point, Like HELL does Liv Tyler get up in the morning and use a ten pence piece sized blob of Pantene to wash her mane. In fact, I'm not even sure she even washes her own hair at all.

I want believable people recommending to me what to use on adverts not celebrities and film stars who you just know are in it for the cash. (Tax bills are apparently an amazing incentive for celebs to sell out I hear)

Bring me some people who I truly believe in to tell me they use your products and I really should do to, stick them on posters and my telly box, stick them on the interweb and then I will buy into your brand.

I'm off to drink coffee now....................

It's the same one George Clooney drinks

Honest.

Who would YOU like to see advertising your favourite products?

Do you believe in celebrity endorsements at all?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

The end of 2011.

2011-12-31T10:48:00.000Z

Looks around to check she isn't listening.

Phew, that 2011 was a bitch on wheels wasn't she?

I'm not going to lie, I'd rather have a smear test with a sandpaper speculum than have to repeat this year again. If they say that some things are sent to try us then 2011 was sent to try and break me.....

But guess what.....................

It failed. You know what? If anything, 2011 has made me a stronger person. I've discovered that I can overcome things that probably would have broken me before.

I am going to wash off the negativity of 2011 like it was a shit shower.

Instead, I will focus on the good stuff.

erm.......

erm..........

(I'm kidding)

SO If I disregard the usual blah blah about having the warmth and love of my family (sticks fingers down throat) and just get to the bits that might interest you all.

I have just completed my first full year of blogging!!!!!!!!
(If no-one claps here then I will sulk, I swear I will)

Last year around about this time I made the point that I don't think the New Year is the best time to make resolutions http://www.big-fashionista.blogspot.com/2010/12/new-years-resolutions.html It's the same reason I never start a diet on a Monday, If you break your diet on the Tuesday then you think that you might as well wait till the following Monday to start again (you know it's true) If I break a New Years resolution do I have to wait till the following January to try it again?

But I did make some little ones about starting to write a book (Which I've done) Improving my blog, (couldn't make it any worse could I?) Hugging my family (Meh) and getting fit and losing weight (Lost it, put it back on......... what can I say, I'm a work in progress)

This year my only resolution is to just keep on keeping on, whatever is thrown at me.

Treat everything as a lesson that I can learn from.

And 2011 certainly gave me some good lessons.

Let us be thankful for what we DO have.

Bring it 2012.

I'm ready for you.

Big Fashionista x x x

Do you have any New Years resolutions you are making?

Let me know.

Shopping with girls

2011-12-30T05:00:00.001Z

I really didn't think that there was a way to make shopping in the sales more hellish than it already is.

I was wrong. In fact I was SO wrong, I wasn't even in the same postcode as wrong, I was in the area NEXT to wrong, which is reserved for things that are so wrong they couldn't possibly ever be right, because it is wrong.

I must have had a glass (bottle) or two over my usual limit as had I decided it would be great fun to take my eleven year old daughter and her two friends shopping in the sales for the day.

(Ok, it may have been that the choice was either shopping or a sleepover. I'm pretty, I'm not dumb)

Now I've been shopping with my daughter before, but I never knew what a minefield I was walking into when I agreed she could bring some friends.

Did you know there were rules?

Well no-one told me!!!!!!!!!

Firstly,

My outfit.

I had to be checked and approved before I could leave the house. (The Converse could stay, the hat with ears had to go) The jeans and checked shirt was seen as acceptable (with just a couple of disappointed looks thrown my way occasionally) and the Lipsy bag was bargained over as a loan to daughter and denied. (Chalk one up to mum)

Luckily I am a quick learner, I learnt almost immediately that I was NOT allowed to walk with the girls, five or steps behind was fine but if by chance they met up with someone they knew I had to be alert enough to dive into a nearby shop like I was hiding from the taxman (Covers eyes, he can't see me can he?)

I was not allowed to make conversations with my daughters friends, the only time I asked if they were having fun I was rewarded with an eye roll from my daughter and giggles from the friends.

Luckily I was allowed to sit and eat lunch with them, (Still no conversation) and then we went our separate ways for a while. I was like a dog being let off a leash, I wanted to bound up to people and say "hello, hello" (no face licking, I told you, I learn fast) I was that starved of affection that if someone would have nodded to me as they walked past I would've showed them all my purchases and even modelled my new coat for them if they hadn't run away screaming by that point. (New coat. Republic, purchased with my Westfield christmas voucher, thank you in-laws)

An hour later and I was back in full-on mother mode. Five paces behind, holding the bags, no conversation. (The only way there could have been MORE rules for me was if I was on a list somewhere)

I was exhausted, they were hyped up on sugar and whatever crack-like fumes they pump into the air at sales time.

I felt like I had been through the wringer, they were wondering if they could stay for a couple more hours.

I felt old, they felt like staying a couple more hours.

A few hours later................... and I put my Converse clad (oh I'm SO down wiv da kidz) foot down, we were going home.

At which point all the girls actually made direct eye contact with me, (direct, I could have wept with gratitude!!) and said "Thanks so much for bringing us today Kellie, we really appreciate it"

to which I replied, "No problem girls, shall we do it again next weekend?"

Bites tongue off and feeds it to self.

Ooooooooooh those clever, clever girls........................................................

I reckon I've been played, what do you think?

And next time I'm wearing my hat with ears, they can like it or lump it.

What do you think, have you experienced the "rules" when shopping with your children. Are there any more rules I need to watch out for NEXT TIME. (kicks self)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

You are not alone

2011-12-24T02:29:00.000Z

So this is my last post for the next couple of days as it is Christmas eve.

A time for joy, family and happiness.

Sadly, not everyone experiences this at christmas and for some, this time can be a dark and lonely time or a time when emotions such as depression can be heightened.

You may be one of those people. You may have come across this blog post by chance, or someone may have forwarded it to you to read.

Consider it fate.

I don't want you to feel alone this Christmas.

I don't want you to feel depressed or lonely.

If you feel that you have hit rock bottom and you feel empty inside, If you can see the lights twinkling in other peoples windows, hear the laughter of your neighbours and yet you experience no joy, as if the world is a dark place in which you see no place for yourself any more.

Or if you feel that you are ready to make a change.

I want you to pick up the phone......................

MIND

www.mind.org.uk

0300 123 3393

Samaritans

www.samaritans.org

08457 90 90 90

Alcoholics Anonymous

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomers

0845 769 7555

Stonewall

www.stonewall.org.uk

Info line 08000 50 20 20

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard

0207 837 7324

SANELine

www.sane.org.uk

0845 767 8000

Preventing young suicide

www.papyrus-uk.org

For people in Northern Ireland

www.lifeline.info

0808 808 8000

Childline

www.childline.org.uk

0800 1111

Depressionalliance

www.depressionalliance.org

Refuge

www.refuge.org.uk

0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association

www.edauk.com

0845 634 1414

Shelter

www.shelter.org.uk

0808 800 4444

NHS Direct

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

0845 4647

No Panic

www.no-panic.co.uk

0808 808 0545

If you need someone, please call one of these numbers. You are NOT alone over Christmas, there are people out there that care, I care.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love Always

Kellie (Big Fashionista)

Christmas Traditions

2011-12-23T09:43:00.000Z

Everyone has different traditions at Christmas and has things that they certainly wouldn't do at any other time of the year. (No, not that, that's for birthdays. Special ones)

We listen to christmas songs, we see a hell of a lot of Michael Buble (Does he get put in storage for the rest of the year? Or in someones basement perhaps?) we decorate our houses in lights and colours that, let's be honest here really don't go together and we drink vile concoctions that wouldn't usually get through the door any other month than November!!

Yes Advocaat, I'm talking about you.

Seriously, the stuff is vile, but the minute A Fairytale In New York starts playing at the end of November, I start to crave it like a strung out crack whore.

"Snowball Kellie?"

"Don't mind if I do"

You just can't help it, the stuff looks like Santa cum and yet we drink it by the bottle load.

For me, my guilty christmas drink is Sheridans. Oh I love it so much, Do you know the stuff?

Flip the lids, pour the drink, the cream goes to the top, dark liquer to the bottom, you drink it, refill your glass and repeat until you fall down (that part might just be me)

Would I drink it in July?

Hell no, if it waved at me from the shelf I would pass by it, acting like I didn't even know its name. (Stone cold cut it dead)

Sorry about that, I more than make up for it in December though.

Erm............................. Drink Responsibly people (That's the disclaimer sorted then)

What do you do at Christmas that usually you wouldn't.

(I'd say keep it clean, but hey, it's Christmas)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Still better than coal right?

2011-12-22T09:41:00.001Z

So while Santa is making a list and checking it twice, the chances are that somewhere out there you have a family member who is feeling ever so smug because they think they have already got you exactly what you want and need.

They really should have checked with you because what we have discovered is that people are still receiving gifts that are, let's not be polite here...... crap.

Speaking to the lovely @HelenJNT from http://www.just-nice-things.co.uk yesterday about bad presents led to putting out a twitter call for you to tell us the worst gifts that you have ever received.

Some of you have been either REALLY naughty, given out signals that yes, you really do want a ladyshave for christmas or your family just panic bought for you!!!

I don't know about you Helen, but I started to feel really grateful for all that I get.

Want a list?

Quite a few Ladyshaves

Pot pourri seems to be a quite popular, especially from your Secret santa. God knows why, the stuff is just awful (bet I get about 3 packets now)

Just a small tip out there for all the men currently flicking through the Argos book in a panic. NO KITCHEN ITEMS. I don't care if your lady has said that it is about time you bought a new toaster/washing machine/hoover there is NO WAY she wants it for christmas. she is not dropping hints to santa. Don't do it. just don't. Otherwise it won't just be chestnuts roasting on an open fire, you might find yours being thrown on as well.

Other gifts? VHS videos seem to be a popular from the older generation (Cue the young uns going, whats a video?) There were mutterings about American Tan tights as well!!!! Poor Grace.

The main theme that seemed to run through the bad gift giving was it wasn't the amount of money spent, it was the lack of thought. Champagne for a teetotaller. Steak knives for a vegetarian. See, no thought!!!

So whether you are spending £5 or £500 per person this christmas (If you are spending £500, call me. I need a couple of things) why not take the time to be thoughtful this christmas. You know what they like really, you just panicked. Breathe, and go shop with belief.

And step away from the Pot Pourri.

Have you had any awful presents that you need to share with the world. As always feel free to leave your comments anonymously (Only about gifts, no trolls please, it's christmas) if you want to.

Can't wait to see what you got while I sit here and wrap this hairbrush for Mr Fashionista (You have to see him to get it)

Let us know

Big Fashionista

A Facebook question for you to help with

2011-12-21T09:07:00.000Z

So I am a huge fan of Facebook. Ok, I do get bored of all the Farmville updates and people wanting magic beans, and to poke me and what-nots, but the arguments between old school friends and the occasional drunken picture (erm, not mine, honest) do mostly make it worthwhile.

Very, very occasionally there is a status that really gets me thinking and the other day a Facebook friend called Sarah asked a question that got my brain cells firing on all cylinders

What is the difference between "seeing" someone and "dating" someone?

BOOM

Now let me give you a bit of background on me so that you understand why I don't know the answer.

I have been in a relationship with the same man for the last 17 years, we have three beautiful children together and experience the normal highs and lows of any normal relationship.

I can't possibly answer the question that Sarah asks.

But maybe you guys can.

Is there a time when a relationship goes from seeing to dating?

What is the difference between seeing and dating anyway?

Let me know what you think it is.

Facebook needs to know

Big Fashionista x x

Chunky Children

2011-12-20T05:00:00.001Z

So childhood obesity is still on the rise and all I keep hearing about lately is fat kids, larger school uniforms, bigger car seats and upsizing meal deals.

People are wringing their hands in despair and saying we are sending our children to an early grave and wailing what can we doooooooooooooooooo to help our poor cuddly (large) kiddies (Add your own hand wringing and wailing)

Well, all those dieticians and Gillian McKeith type people can just kiss my big (huge) backside because I know EXACTLY what has caused the rise in chunky children and I know how to solve childhood obesity problem once and for all.

Lets put the E numbers back into kids food.

I'm serious, All those kids hyped up on additives + sugar never sat still. I know that as a kid I would be running around like a loon and man was I skinny (ok, I wasn't but just nod and agree with me, it's christmas) When I was younger I never saw a child hopped out of his brain on E122 and E221 sitting still long enough to chew down on 3 Mars bars, 2 bowls of pasta and 2 Pizzas before dinner time did you? (anyone else hungry now?)

All this time we thought we were doing our children a favour by banning certain E numbers, instead we were just making them lazy and fat.

Tut tut,

It's health and safety gone insane I tell you.

Lets put the E numbers back into the kids food, if only for a little while. They will run their fat arses off in a couple of months (literally) Ok, so they won't sleep, they may have a nervous twitch or three, and an annoying rash that no creams can shift, but no more childhood obesity.

That has to be a good thing right?

Right?

Bite me Daily Mail.

Takes tongue out of cheek.

What do you think?

Will it work? ;-D

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x
(Disclaimer; I'm kidding, I'm kidding, how irresponsible do you think I am? Downs sunset yellow for giggles)

A Birthday Treat Nom or Vom style.

2011-12-19T05:00:00.001Z

So it is my birthday today and there is a VICIOUS rumour going around the internet that I am now 36 years old, I can assure you that I have my solicitors on the case and unless anyone can find my original birth certificate I will not accept 36 as my official age (chews and swallows)

As a December baby with a birthday so close to christmas it seems that my birthday is never as important as everyone elses, so I thought today I could celebrate my birthday with you all in a way no-one will ever forget.

It's not big, (Oh I hope it is) It isn't brave, and it certainly isn't clever, it is more than slightly shallow...................... and I know you will all love it.

Happy Birthday to me,

It's the BEST of Nom or Vom

Ahhhh Adam, you are lovely just the way you are. (I mean naked by the way)

Bradley, your teeth, your smile, stay gorgeous.

David. Stay pretty

Who is this one again? Jensen something?

Mr Haskell I presume? He's only included because of the naked shot. A for effort James

Swoooooooooon Jason Momoa. I WILL fight those Style Rawr girls for him.

Oh Max, you ARE The Wanted

Morgan from Criminal Minds, (He could handcuff me anytime)

Paul, Stay naked. Always

Tommy, the most searched for phrase on my StatCounter keyword activity is "Tommy Lee's dick" (Stay classy people)

Is this guy still around even?

Chester, I would. Over and over and over again.

Chris Hemsworth, as Thor. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. But only as Thor-Sorry.

Justin, keep the hair short and we are ok. Ok?

So there we have it, I had no criteria for the best of Nom or Vom other than their nakedness.

I think on my birthday that is a great criteria, don't you?

Enjoy my birthday gift to you all and don't forget to let me know who you think is the BEST of Nom or Vom.

Big Fashionista x x

Creations By Charlotte

2011-12-18T05:00:00.001Z

Todays small business I want to show you is run by someone who I actually spent a lot of my teen years with, A fab friend who I only recently got back in touch with via the power of Facebook.

We had so much fun (including the time we almost killed her brother when we left him alone when we were meant to be looking after him because he was sick, turns out he had appendicitis!!! Who knew) and it is a true honour to be able to feature her new business

Creations By Charlotte

If you need party bags for a childrens party, or as gift for a new baby then look no further than www.creationsbycharlotte.co.uk

Fantastic service and some really gorgeous products, not only will you take the stress out of your childs party you will also be the envy of other parents out there for your originality.

Heres a selection of just some of the things that Creations By Charlotte can offer you.

There are so many other cute things on the site, perfect for timesaving and looking thoughtful. Go take a look www.creationsbycharlotte.co.uk

What do you think?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

LouLous Luxuries

2011-12-17T05:00:00.001Z

As it is the weekend it is time to celebrate some more small businesses and today is the rather lovely LouLous Luxuries.

This one is a very important one to me as the lovely Kerry has been a huge supporter of my weekend blogs supporting other small businesses.

So we are all about the jewellery here today and we are talking vintage and vintage inspired jewellery and I have picked out a few of my favourite pieces for you to whet your appetite with before sending you on your way over to the website

www.loulousluxuries.co.uk

Aren't they all gorgeous pieces?

The Dance of the Peacock vintage pearl necklace above is just absolutely stunning don't you think and is only £17.00 (nudges Santa)

What is your favourite piece?

What are you going to buy?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2011-12-16T05:00:00.001Z

So who shall we do today, I thought I would go a little different this week and go with.....................................................................

Now before you all report me or get me some help, (actually, that isn't a bad idea) have you SEEN who voices Handy Manny???????

This weeks Nom or Vom is

Wilmer Valderrama

So what do we think?

Could he be your Handy Man-ny?

or should he keep his tools in his box?

Let me know,

Nom or Vom

Big Fashionista x x

Do good things come to those that wait?

2011-12-15T05:00:00.001Z

They say that patience is a virtue.

Well I never once said I was virtuous (check my blog posts, not one mention of virtue anywhere, I promise you)

Yesterday (which is actually today as I am writing this Wednesday night, confused? stick around, it can only get worse) I found out I had a parcel delivered which went to my neighbour.

By the time I found out this parcel had been delivered, (which incidentally wasn't by the courier company because they neglected to put a card through my door, Thanks Fedex, glad I can help you contribute to saving the environment one piece of card at a time) my neighbour had gone out.

Now I don't known where the hell she has gone but it is 9.45pm and I am pacing like a worried parent because she still isn't back. (I really should put this woman on a curfew)

and I'm not sure but I think I can hear my parcel weeping through the walls!!! What kind of rude person takes in a parcel for you and then goes out until it's late. It is a school night!, I want my parcel and she has kidnapped it.

I think I am well within my rights here to kick down her door and go and rescue my parcel from her evil clutches. I could say that I smelt smoke or something and while I was in there checking the house for any fires (what a hero) I thought I might as well take my parcel at the same time. (See what a considerate neighbour I am) Erm, their is cake missing from your fridge? Nothing to do with me I promise (wipes crumbs)

I have zero patience, if I knew where my birthday presents were I would open them,
and then re wrap them so no-one knew. I am terrible like that. I can't wait for anything.

It is why I rarely online shop. Wait for delivery? Hell no (especially with the parcel snatcher next door) I want to buy it and take it with me. I hear you can sometimes die of old age before your ASOS parcels arrive anyway!!!

I am really unhappy about my neighbour going out while being in charge of my Japonesque parcel. She wouldn't leave my child unsupervised, what is the difference? (I think I'm looking forward to receiving this parcel more to be honest, If she was in charge of my children, I would be the one out and uncontactable) I have been in since 2pm ish. So she has been out for almost 8 hours without a care in the world for my parcel!!! She probably hasn't left it any water or room to roam around. (and if her small dog has even LOOKED at my parcel while hearing the sound of a running tap I will make ear muffs out of it)

If she is much longer I will have to pull the tumble drier trick on the next parcel I take in for her. (ten minutes on a cool setting, thud, thud, thud, thud, round and round it goes, will it break? who the hell knows)

I am waiting for my parcel from Japonesque and quite honestly I am really excited to be receiving it. This wait is half killing me.

Like I said, I'm not a patient person.

What would you be doing in my position?

Anyone care to help me burglarise back my own property? I have to be within my rights to go and rescue it don't I?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Away in a Danger-Nativity plays from hell.

2011-12-14T05:00:00.001Z

It is that time of year when as parents we are at our busiest and yet the schools our little darling cherubins attend ALWAYS insist on putting on nativity plays when to be quite honest I would rather be out doing my Christmas shopping, or something equally exciting and enjoyable (like the dentist, without anaesthetic )

I'm free in June, any chance we can reschedule?

Apparently not.

As Ms Hirons would say, HOW RUDE!!!!

As there is no getting out of the obligatory nativity play, I might as well enjoy it.

This means embracing all the hell that goes along with it.

Firstly this involves watching a lot of side-eye in the playground at the mothers of those children picked to be angels, this stems from our wish as children to be picked as an angel and never getting chosen because we were SOOOOOOOO GOOD AT READING WE ALWAYS GOT CHOSEN AS THE NARRATOR. WHO WANTS TO BE THE NARRATOR, I WANTED TO BE AN ANGEL, JUST ONCE, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO, IT WAS ALWAYS CLARE DIXON, BECAUSE SHE WAS BLONDE AND PRETT......................................

(composes self)

So firstly there is the grief over the angels,

Then the next problem is the part of Mary & Joseph.

(Sigh. Some people are still not talking after the great Mary and Joseph casting of 2006)

Once the parts have been allocated, sneered over and accepted, the next problem to face are the outfits. (God I miss Woolworths) Shepherd? Simple, add a tea towel. Kings? some cardboard and some foil for a crown. Angels? A white sheet (like I give a stuff-sulks a bit)

A DONKEY!!!!!!!!!!

Oh sweet baby Jesus, how do I do a Donkey?

(A small tip, never attempt to staple on a tail, it will only end in tears)

So we have our part, our costume, our ticket.........

Our ticket? Uh ho. This kicks up a whole new issue. Is your ticket numbered? It is easier to get a front row ticket to watch Rihanna than a front row ticket to a nativity play. (It always seems to be the same smug faced parents in the front row, have you ever noticed that?) If it isn't numbered, then it is like queueing for an H&M collaboration, come prepared, come early, wear heels. (it may get nasty)

You grab your seat and there on stage are the little cherubins, The best Nativity plays are the ones with the younger children. Reception, Nursery, Year One. Like I said, if I have to spend my time sitting there then I damn well want to be entertained by an Angel announcing they need a wee halfway through Away in a Manger. (tee hee)

Plus you usually get the gift of Gold, Frankenstein and Mud (Always a classic) and Mary dropping the baby Jesus on its head.

Children of that age have no shame either, they sing at the top of their voices, they announce they need the toilet, they wave at their mums and occasionally they shout out that the person next to them has farted (Everyone laughed but the childs parents, they sunk down to the bottom of their seats and refused to make eye contact with anyone for the next three years)

Ok, I admit it, I love the time of the Nativity plays. I wouldn't miss them for the world.
They are an hour or so of pure Christmas.

What do you think? Are you a fan of the Nativity plays? Are you like me and enjoy the whole occasion as an event and most importantly.................

Do you have any nativity stories you want to share with me.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Cupboard Jenga

2011-12-13T05:00:00.001Z

So, after being feeling extremely clumsy lately, I have decided that I am in fact NOT a complete uncoordinated mess, I have just created a brand new game which anyone can play.

Cupboard Jenga

Best played in the kitchen it is a truly simple game that can leave you in stitches (and I'm not talking in a laughing way either)

Now you have to bear in mind that I am 5ft 4in and for some reasons my cupboards are really high. I'm really not very good at this game.

What you need to do is reach into your cupboard and pull something out. (I know, simple right?) If you can pull out the item? Well done, you are a winner. (smartarse)

If (like me) you attempt to take something out of the cupboard and tins and other kitchen products rain down upon you like lightning bolts thrown from Zeus,

You are playing Cupboard Jenga.

This game is not suitable for persons 3 or under.

In fact this game is not suitable for anyone really. Lately I have got quite an expert at losing at this game.

I have discovered that tins of beans hurt. A tub of cotton buds will always hit the floor and scatter like children from a broken window. Pot Noodles are the devils work and can do triple back somersaults to make sure they catch you on the head with the sharp edge (Pot Noodles are, in my opinion the devils work anyway) and no matter how many attempts you make to catch the crushed chilis you never, EVER will and you will be finding them for weeks on the worktop and floor (bloody git things)

The best cupboard to use to learn how to play this game is probably the medicine cupboard, (although if you get hit with a bottle of Night Nurse, you will probably need a bloody nurse, and don't sue me, I don't got nuffink) I'm not judging you but if you have a nice soft cupboard full of tablet boxes then you might want to start there. (Diclofenac boxes falling on your head are like kisses from angels)

If you have children and you have a cupboard full of packed lunch stuff then chances are you have played Cupboard Jenga at one point or the other in your life. Give me a packet of cheesy wotsits falling on my head over a KitKat Chunky any day of the week (Although if a KitKat chunky falls out of the cupboard, that badboy is MINE)

Another place that is damn scary to play Cupboard Jenga is the cupboard full of tins, Why is the tin I want always behind the suicide tins? The suicide tins are the ones just waiting to jump out of the cupboard every time I open the door. And if they are going down, they are taking me with them. I never win at Cupboard Jenga in the tin cupboard, I've given up even trying. (I let the children climb on the worktops like little Growler Monkeys and pass me down what I need)

Really when I think about it, Cupboard Jenga is not a fun game to play, but I bet at least a couple of you out there are playing it, and now at least you know what it's called.

Do you play Cupboard Jenga?

How did you get on?

Any scars? Or do you have some handy tips for me to help me dodge falling tins?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

My Daddy

2011-12-12T05:00:00.002Z

Today is always a hard day for me. It is the anniversary of my dads death.

While everyone else has their christmas lights glittering and twinkling, mine will be off.

Just for the one day. I don't like to see their cheer today. In a way I feel like they are just mocking me with their festive cheer.

I don't try to be happy today or force a smile. That is for the other 364 days of the year. Then I like to celebrate my dads life, but just for this one day the sadness overwhelms me and I miss my daddy terribly.

Rest in Peace Daddy

I miss you

Kellie x x

One Stop Pamper Shop

2011-12-11T09:33:00.000Z

So we have had shoe condoms, bags, jewellery and todays small business is all about candles and bath bombs.

For me candles and bath bombs go together like wine and a straw (Ok, that might just be me though) and a really fab company that I love is One Stop Pamper Shop.

http://onestoppampershop.co.uk/

The candles are absolutely lovely, a great long lasting scent that look as good as they smell.

I talk quite regularly to the owner Maryann who is absolutely lovely, in fact not only is One Stop Pamper online, she has recently opened a shop!!!! How cool is that?

Let me show you just a few of the huge range of candles and bath products that One Stop Pamper Shop sell.

You would be absolutely amazed at what good value these products are.

The Gingerbread bath bomb is just £1.91 at the moment.

The Robins Nest Bath Brulee is just £2.54 and everything has 15% off across the site.

There is still time to purchase in time for Christmas so go and take a look at One Stop Pamper Shop

www.onestoppampershop.co.uk

What do you think?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Supporting small businesses

Flonightingale Jewellery.

2011-12-10T05:00:00.001Z

After the success of last weekends blog posts promoting small businesses I decided to make it a regular series.

Today I am focusing on the fabulous jewellery from Flonightingale.

I am a massive fan of statement jewellery and after browsing on the site

www.flonightingale.com

I am sure you will be too.

(ps, Santa if you are reading, I would adore the Octopus necklace)

Want to take a look at some of my favourite pieces?

This is a TOTAL statement piece. LOVE, ADORE, NEED

Seriously cute and kitsch. £6.00!!!!! I could buy this for soooo many people, and they do lots of different types. Fruit pastilles anyone?

Perfect for the crafty ones amongst you. Me, I can't cut corners let alone be craft-like

Awwwwwwwww I love this.

Geek chic at it's finest!!!!!!!!!

Go and check out Flonightingale jewellery.

Plus you still have a little time to order and receive in time for christmas. All items are giftwrapped and in this day and age it is important to support small businesses such as this.

Let me know what you think of the site, I love it and I hope you will do too.

Big Fashionista x x

Supporting small businesses.

Nom or Vom

2011-12-09T05:00:00.001Z

It's Friday. Now for the rest of the week I like to play it all (mostly) serious but come Friday I think it is time to have a little fun and be downright shallow.

If you are new to the Nom or Vom party, this is how it works.

I post pictures of a hot male celeb and then you can just grade them like meat.

See, shallow. (It is what Fridays were made for isn't it?)

So let us start with todays offering of male hotness.

Jon Bon Jovi

Now, never have I typed a name into my computer and SO many pictures come up!!!
I was literally spoilt for choice.

Including one or two like this!!!!

Rude not to really don't you think?

Want to see some more pics?

(At this point I am starting to think that I have seen puddles deeper than this blog post)

So what do we think ladies and gentlemen?

Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Blogging advice.

2011-12-08T05:00:00.001Z

Hello fellow bloggers, are you sitting uncomfortably?

Then I will begin.

There will be snacks provided at the interval and kittens to play with for those that get easily distracted.

(Step away from the kitten guys, after four lines is not an acceptable time to get distracted)

The blogging community is an amazing place, but there are a lot of people out there that are just starting out that perhaps need a little guidance.

Now I'm not here to teach anyone how to suck eggs so for those of you that are blog geniuses you are excused to go and play with the kittens, but leave the snack table alone for now ok?

Do you have a new blog? Do you look at those bloggers out there that talk about being sent a product to try out and want to know how to get in on it?

STOP right there. If you are just in it for the freebies then you are going to be sadly disappointed.

The sacred rule of blogging? Don't beg for samples. Just don't.

Feel free to contact PR companies to introduce yourself, follow your favourite brands on twitter and facebook and learn all about all the fab new products that are being released and then go and purchase them with your own monies and then write about them. Send the link to the PR company who looks after the brand and then keep on blogging.

I am NOT going to say to you, and then after a while the PR company will send you free stuffs because that really isn't how it works, and if you are reading this and thinking, "So WHEN do I get free stuff" please feel free to go play with the kitties because I am honestly just trying to help you out here.

Blogging is really not about what you can get out of it. Blogging is hard work. Fun, but really hard work. What do I get out of it? Honestly? I just really enjoy writing. I'm not a beauty blogger, I just blog about beauty occasionally, (as well as anything else that interests me-My blog, my rules) For me it is all about the pleasure of writing, My reward is having people comment on my blogs (oooooh, you better comment)

I haven't been blogging for that long myself. This blog is 18 months old, still a baby really, but I am seeing more and more blogs popping up and if I can just help one new blogger from making the mistakes that others, including me, have made then I think this was a blog worth writing.

Another important lesson a new blogger can learn is all about getting your own identity. This takes time. If you read back my first few months worth of blogs (For gods sake, don't) then my writing was completely different. It takes time to develop your identity. What do you like to write about? Beauty? Fashion? Sex? Food? Write about what interests YOU. Go for it, just write. Over time your style will develop and your readers will come. let it be natural, don't force it.

And for gods sake get your own ideas. Don't steal them from fellow bloggers, it doesn't matter how amazing you think they are. Get your own fabulous ideas, stealing them from other bloggers is just lazy and people WILL notice. And then you will be known for all the wrong reasons. Who wants that? You will get great ideas for blogs of your own, you will. How would you like it if you had a fabulous idea for a blog and then someone stole it for themselves?

Blog unto others as you yourself wish to blog.

Does anyone need a kitten break?

Another thing that you really shouldn't worry about is the number of blog followers you have. I've been there, you can stress yourself out something stupid over why you only have ten followers when someone who started after you has twenty. or why your blog followers hasn't increased in days or weeks or why you have lost blog followers. Keep on writing, followers will come, your hits will increase and after a while you realise that these things aren't important. They really aren't.

Chat to your fellow bloggers, the social side of blogging is amazing and you can make some amazing friends, comment on other peoples blogs, but make sure you don't just write "visit my blog at www.blahblahblah" Nothing is more annoying than people who comment without commenting, if you know what I mean?

Right, the snack table is now open, go gather in the comment area and share some good advice for new bloggers. What do you wish that you had known when you first started out? What is your sacred rule of blogging?

and any new bloggers with any questions, feel free to ask for advice.

Big Fashionista x x

A hair-raising tale

2011-12-07T05:00:00.001Z

I seem to have some sort of Movember thing going on with my legs at the moment.

What can I say, I'm cold.

It's like added insulation and it isn't as though I am going to be wearing skirts any time soon is it? (And if I do have to wear one, I can just say that mohair tights are so this season can't I?)

I should be ashamed of my bear-like legs, instead I just feel snuggly and if I am feeling sad I can always just stroke my own legs. (smooth, scratchy, smooth, scratchy)

(If I am bored, I could always sit there and plait them I suppose)

Is anyone else avoiding the razor or waxing lately?

***********tumbleweed**********************

Might just me then.

I'm looking for the positives here.

I am warm. (always a good thing, I feel the cold like a chihuaha with no coat on)

I can amuse my 5yr old daughter for hours, (give her some glittery hairclips and a brush and she can play legdressers)

I am saving on soap (Couple more days and I can just shampoo my legs)

and also it means less washing as I don't need to use towels anymore, I can just shake off like a wet dog. Or if I am feeling deliciously decadent I can just blowdry my legs.

And we won't even get started on my armpits huh?

(I have no excuse for that other than I am lazy)

But until I start eyeing up velvet scrunchies for my underarms I think I can get away with it. Right? right?

So, any other ladies out there rebelling against the razor at the moment?

Please don't let me be the only one.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Bitch bank of insults

2011-12-06T05:00:00.001Z

Back at the beginning of October (you know, when it was warm) I wrote a post about those little words that instantly cause offence "No offence but"

If you can be bothered why not reacquaint yourself with the post
here -------> No offence but

Since then it has been pointed out to me that "No offence but" is a mere pussy cat in the world of being offensive without anyone being able to pull you up on it.

and this new way is only three letters as well.

Now even lazy people can try to be a bitch.

I remember when being a bitch took actual work. You had to respect a true bitch because they had to work hard at it, it wasn't simple. Not everyone could do it. It took imagination and pure evil genius. (Yes I do mean me, I am permanently exhausted)

Now it is as easy as L O L

Thats it, LOL

or WORSE, A fricking smiley face.

"OMG, How FAT do you look in that dress? You look like a pregnant hippo LOL :-) "

Oh, you added a LOL, it's a joke, I get it. You added a LOL to take out the sting. So now it doesn't hurt.

And what's this?

A smiley face?

Oh how I laughed at your wit, your intelligence. You added a SMILEY to an insult. I see what you did there.

Now you could've gone down the "Just out of interest, are your parents siblings" route or even "Now I can totally see why some animals eat their young"

All are perfectly acceptable insults.

Instead laziness has just taken over. No-one tries any more. It's all "No offence but" "LOL" and smiley faces.

It's just poor bitching skills.

So hit me with your best insult.

We can create a bank of insults that people can just dip into whenever they need to.

Let me start you off.

Learn from your parents mistakes darling, use contraception.

Awwwww, don't let your mind wander, it is too little to go out alone.

He is so stupid he has to be watered twice a week

Have those ones on me.

What's your favourite bitchy put down or insult?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

An alibi waiting to happen

2011-12-05T05:00:00.000Z

So after some quite serious "female issues" lately I had a conversation with my mother that went something like this.

"well don't forget darling, both your nan and I went through the menopause at 34"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firstly, I'm 35.

Secondly, If I was going to be handed something genetically, I'd much rather have had long legs or blonde hair.

But no, I get a shortage of eggs instead.

So I need to turn this to my advantage.

Firstly, I may have to go shoplifting. Surely the menopause is a great alibi? Christmas is coming, I can say I shoved that ten pound turkey up my jumper to cool me down can't I? I could get the whole christmas dinner (as long as it's frozen goods) and just claim short-term memory loss due to the menopause.

I don't know many security guards who would go near a menopausal woman without a taser and a rope on a stick like the RSPCA people have do you?

"Did she say she was menopausal?"

"Oh Jesus, just let her have the turkey, we aren't allowed to carry Tasers anymore and I'm not going hand to hand with her"

Secondly, can I murder my other half and get away with it? It's the best excuse I can ever think of. Sorry officer, I stabbed him 40 times in the face because he looked at me funny.

I better hope for a female judge.

It isn't fair. All I have in my future is night sweats, tears and a thickening midriff. If I was a guy I would be able to crave a motorbike or a sports car and they don't even have a real menopause!!!!!

Who decided that this was okay? Men I imagine. The have a mid-life crisis (oh boo hoo) and have collectively decided that this is a great excuse for a new car and a younger woman.

So I am going to start telling people that women at the start of a menopause it is the LAW that they all need to shop for a whole new wardrobe (no polyester allowed) and at least three new pairs of shoes.

Well if I can't get away with the shoplifting and the murder I might as well get something fun out of this.

Feel free to spread the word ladies, one day this will be you.

Although I might just have one go of the Turkey thievery. those bad boys are expensive.

Any other ideas what I might be able to get away with?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Feeling Randy

2011-12-04T10:39:00.000Z

It just seems to be one of those weekends!!!!

Randybagz, fresh, cute and fun.

I actually know these ladies and have been out drinking with them, (Don't worry, those pictures will never see the light of day girls, what happens in Hornchurch, stays in Hornchurch) I love it when people I know manage to set up a business and make something of it.

Recently showing at Essex Fashion Week and counting Vanessa Feltz as someone who is walking around with one of their bags, Randybagz have come from nowhere to become a huge success and 2012 is promising to be a huge year for them.

Want to check them out?

So cute and completely personalised, RandyBagz are perfect for gifts or even just for yourself.

Want to check them out for yourself? www.randybagz.co.uk

What do you think?

Big Fashionista x x

Heel Condoms

2011-12-03T05:00:00.002Z

Apart from the fact that I giggle now whenever I say the word Heel Condoms I am in total awe of this funky way to update your shoes.

If you have a plain pair of heels that you want to jazz up for the christmas party season then why not check these out?

All available from www.prettypinktoes.co.uk the price ranges from £14.99-£24.99

In fact go and have a proper browse, Pretty Pink Toes have some seriously innotive items on their site. From Cityclips, which clip up your trousers to keep them dry to TrendyTabs which you can attach to your credit cards to pull out of your purse and lots of other stuff you cant even begin to imagine. Christmas gifts GALORE to be found there I promise.

So do you want to see what heel condoms look like?

How pretty are these?

Sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So cute for weddings.

Jazzing up a pair of neutral shoes

I love this style.

Funky huh?

I love them. I have a couple of pairs of plain court shoes that could do with jazzing up and this is the perfect way to do it and is cheaper than shelling out for a new pair of shoes for the party season.

So what do you think of the heel condoms (giggle)

And what do you think of the site?
Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2011-12-02T05:00:00.001Z

So there I am, sitting patiently watching Alan Carr, (No, not waiting for One Direction I promise-Lee Evans if you actually want to know) when all of a sudden a hotty turns up.
(No not Harry Styles, focus people)

Bear Grylls.

I've sort of caught glimpses of this guy before but honestly, living off the jungle is really not my sort of thing, although if he eats bugs and drinks his own urine he is pretty much set in being able to eat my food. (many men have tried, most have failed)

Shall we just get down to some pictures instead of running down my domestic skills?

Well there you go then, so what do we all think?

Nom or Vom?

Big Fashionista x x

And the winner is..............................

2011-12-01T23:21:00.000Z

And the winner of the Matalan competition is............................................

Nina

Congratulations hun. if you can email me some contact details to

Bigfashionista@sky.com

Thanks to everyone who entered the competition.

Big Fashionista x x

It's the final countdown

2011-12-01T09:52:00.000Z

So it is the first of December and as I am not so gently poked in the ribs by a five year old at 6.30 this morning asking how many of her advent chocolates should she have eaten! (I will not repeat my answer, I am not a morning person) I am sad because this year I don't have an advent calendar of my own yet.

This saddens me greatly.

There is something so magical and wonderous about opening a advent calender each day that I really am going to have to go out and buy myself one. I can't be without one.

And then I got to thinking

Someone is missing a trick here. I want to make advent calendars that are aimed specifically at a target market.

A mothers advent calender perhaps, it would go something like this.

Dec 1st
You open the door and a small valium 10mg drops out and on the back of the calendar instead of a picture of santa it says "That toy you wanted for your kid? It's sold out, you are now officially a crap mother"

Dec 3rd
Behind door number 3 is a minature bottle of gin and a note to remember to buy presents for the childrens teachers

Dec 7th
A small packet of tissues and a reminder to be prepared for the inevitable I need a sheep costume for TODAY whinge at 8.30am.

December 14th
2 valiums, and a note to find out exactly how many people you are cooking for this year and to find out which one of your children has decided to become a vegetarian at the last minute.

December 19th
My birthday :-D Which usually means all of the childrens assemblies fall on this day so no drunken lunch for me. Have 2 Valium AND a bottle of gin. Merry frickin christmas.

December 24th
A telephone number for The Priory would be helpful behind door 24 today, instead it is a reminder to get batteries, because there is always a toy which needs them and you don't have enough, although nowadays some shops are open, when I was a child I stared at a toy for THREE days as my parents had forgotten to get batteries for it!!!!!!

Anyone else think this calendar would be a best seller?

Can you think of what should be behind the other doors?
Or any other people that would benefit a targeted calendar?

Let me know, I'm off to hunt down an advent calendar and hide my little ones before she eats them all.

Big Fashionista x x x

Burning a hole in my pocket

2011-11-30T05:00:00.002Z

Yesterday I was in the (very) unusual position of having some cash in my pocket. Real cash, quite a bit of it in fact.

Now it has been a bloody long time since this happened. I think the last time that I had money in my pocket that was mine to just splurge, I bought a ride on a dinosaur. (Disclaimer, I'm not really that old, I just FEEL it)

So I have this paper in my pocket with pictures of the queen on them. This money was quite unexpected and to spend it on bills would just be RUDE wouldn't it?

Well I think so anyway.

So there I was, walking around Lakeside, I had visions of myself walking out several hours later looking like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (Without the prostitution bit obviously) carrying lots of lovely bags that would be choc full of treats.

Several hours later I walk out of Lakeside with the raving bloody hump! Did I buy anything?

Did I hell.

I couldn't even spend my money in Starbucks because the queue was so long. (NOT a happy bunny)

Why is it that when I have money I just can't spend it? I really can't.
It just isn't fair. When I am poor, I see so many products that I want and I just can't afford.

And now I can afford to live a little........................
I can't find anything that I want.

Now there are certain things that I am not allowed to buy as it is so close to christmas and also I have my birthday coming up.

(19th of December, thanks for asking)

But how can I not buy a SINGLE thing? That is just ridiculous. I feel like a failure.

I have the means to single-handedly help boost the economy and I am clinging on to it as desperately as Justin Bieber is his reputation (ooooh topical)

It didn't help that I was banned from spending it on the children. That's usually what happens isn't it? Mum gets some cash, the kiddies get some treats.

It HAS to be spent on me. And my brain just won't let me spend it!!!!!

I am going to have to have hypnotherapy or something to overcome this phobia of spending my own hard earned money.

Am I the only one who does this?

Or is this guilt pretty common?

Let me know

and if you have any ideas of what I can spend my money on, feel free to share

Big Fashionista x x

Matalan competition

2011-11-29T05:00:00.000Z

As we all know, Christmas is fast approaching and to help ease the pain of being Santas little helper (and the one who pays for it all) Matalan are offering one of you the chance to win £30 of Gift vouchers for you to spend either on gifts for christmas or on yourself as a reward for being good all year (I know what I'd be doing, erm if I had been good that is)

So here is what you have to do.

Matalan have released their rather beautifully dreamy christmas 2011 advert which if you haven't seen yet you can watch below.

Beautiful huh?

To enter the competition what I want you to do is tell me, What is your favourite piece of Matalan clothing in the advert.

You can find all the pieces here -------------> http://bit.ly/t4vVrq

So make sure you are following my blog and then below leave me a comment with a link to your favourite piece.

This competition will be closing Thursday 1st of December at 5pm.

Sorry but you need to be in the UK as well.

I love me some Matalan and my favourite item are the Tri-buckle biker boots you can see -------> HERE

Tell me your favourite to be in with a chance of winning £30 of Matalan Vouchers.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

GlossyBox November box review

2011-11-28T00:47:00.000Z

After my honest review of the October Glossybox last month I was pleasantly surprised when last week I unexpectedly received the November box from the Glossybox PR team.

As I mentioned last month I LOVE the concept of Glossy Box.

"5 basic luxuries from new brands and new products from brands that you have enjoyed in GlossyBox before"

That is the spiel you get with the box but this month I have to say I was sadly disappointed with the overall box.

When you open the box you are greeted by a big plastic bag of salts, now I am sure the product is lovely but overall the packaging doesn't say luxury to me. Plus personally the thought of putting salts near my va-jay-jay at any time when I don't have thrush really seems pointless to me.

Dead Sea Spa Magik Dead Sea Bath Salts are £5.50 for a 1kg bag, the bag in the box was 250g.

I'm sure they are lovely but for me they just don't scream luxury. (In fact they don't even whisper luxury to me in their little see-through plastic packaging)

The second product that I took out of the box was the Monu Recovery Balm, this is a full size product which retails for £16.95. I've never heard of Monu, and this is where GlossyBox works, introducing you to new brands you may never have had the chance to try out before.
I'm going to work out what I aacually do with this product before bringing you a more in-depth review in the future.

What is a recovery balm anyway?
Answers on a postcard please.

The third product out of the box was the Arbonne FC5 Ultra Hydrating Hand Creme, a sample size tube which is 15mls small. The full size product costs £19.00. I had mixed feelings on this product. It is a perfect seasonal addition to the box and very hydrating but the smell leaves me nauseated. I really don't like it at all, When you first apply it starts off very citrusy with almost a washing up liquid frangrance, very fresh and clean but before you can truly appreciate it, it dulls down to almost a powdered love hearts sweets fragrance with an underlying smell of death and decay. (Vomits in mouth a little bit)

The fourth product out of the box was the Nail Rock Designer Nail Wraps £6.65 for 16 wraps. Now I am a huge fan of nail wraps and I have had a lot of practice at using them but these ones frustrated the LIFE out of me. I have wallpapered walls and ended up with less creases and air bubbles (that is a total lie, I have never wallpapered in my life, but you get the general idea I hope) the edges are extremely rough as well, Any other nail wraps I've tried come with a nail file but these ones didn't which made it a lot harder to smooth the edges. (I live in fear of having to wipe my bum, you just know these will tear through the paper-winces slightly)

I got the leopard skin nail wraps in my box, I know that there are different ones in different boxes but these ones are very me. Rawwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Awful picture but you get the idea I hope.

Deep breath.

The final product in the box were two perfume samples.

Serge Lutens. L'Eau Serge Lutens and Vitriol d'Oeillet Full size 100mls £86, 50mls £78

Perfume samples? Again GlossyBox? Really?

Ok, here is what has got a lot of people more than slightly annoyed. Last month the box contained perfume samples, this month................. the box contained perfume samples.

Perfume samples are a lot more accessible for people than say for example samples of hand creme. If I want to try a new perfume then I can go to any department store and practically drown myself in perfume samples if that is what floats my boat. It seems to be a bit of an easy way out really. It's like adding a whistle to a party bag, you know no-one really wants it but you have to make up the numbers somehow.

Another thing that has got the crowd riled is that some people got Serge Lutens and some people got Illamasqua Freak.

Now if GlossyBox would have got their shit together they could have had a winning box on their hands here. Freak isn't that easy to get hold of. A sample of this probably would have silenced the people (including me) who are disappointed in the overall box.

I have heard SO much about Freak and am desperate to smell it. I also understand that their has been grumbling (ok, out and out yelling) that people think that it was the bloggers who mainly got Freak in their boxes. Looks at self. Looks at box. Looks at self again. Well I can guarantee that little conspiracy theory isn't true. Dammit, I wish it was though. (stamps foot)

Less perfume samples GlossyBox please. It cheapens the whole idea for me. Or throw in the samples as a little bonus. Everyone likes to get a little sumting, sumting every now and then.

Overall this box really didn't rock my world. there wasn't a standout product for me in the box this month. Everything had the potential to be great but like a new song from Jessie J it just really hasn't lived up to it's hype.

I think the chances are this is the last box I will receive from GlossyBox but I look forward with interest to seeing what the December box holds, I really hope that they can dazzle and wow with the last box of the year. I still think that £12.95 isn't an extortionate amount to spend on trying a box like this each month but with the competition constantly increasing with new box companies seemingly appearing each month now is the time when Glossybox will either turn it around with something special or really begin to alienate their subscribers who will start to leave in droves.

How did you feel about your November GlossyBox?

Did you receive Freak in your box? Or would you have liked to?

OR were you completely happy with your box and think I am talking crap?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Nom or Vom

2011-11-25T16:57:00.000Z

So today has mainly been about egg, bacon and mushroom baguettes and a lot of sleep but I also subscribe to the better late than never way of life so it may be 5pm but it is never too late for a Nom or Vom.

So todays Nom or Vom is yet another one of those guys that has improved with age, you may not WANT to do him, but part of you would. (and you know he'd offer you the cab fare home, or payment, whatever you prefer) I've included a mugshot because I know some of you out there are a sucker for a bad boy.

High Grant

So what do we think everyone?

Nom or Vom

Big Fashionista x x

Wife replacement service

2011-11-23T05:00:00.001Z

I'm not an iPhone user, I am a (currently ungrateful) disciple at the alter of Crackberry.

All this talk of 5G, 3rd gen and 4S, It all just sounds like an insiders code to me, something that iPhone users just say to confuse those that are not in the know. I do have an iPod Touch however and I do abuse its capabilities to the MAX.

But something on the iPhone 4S has now caught my attention.

Siri

Now according to Apple, Siri is the intelligent personal assistant that does things just by asking...................................................................................

This isn't new.

This is a mother, or a wife.

"How is my day looking"?

"Well darling, you have work all day, then it's a night in front of the TV before going to bed and gaining carnal knowledge of my body"

"Thank you my love"

"Do I have a meeting today?"

"No, you are a 3 year old child, the only meeting you have today is with a double episode of Peppa Pig and some toast triangles"

"I need a wee wee"

I like the idea of Siri, I really do. Especially if it can deal with the nonsense that I really don't have time for.

"Siri, where did my daughter leave her shoes" (good luck with that one)

"Siri, who DID actually start the argument between my ten year old and eleven year old" (A little hint, usually the five year old started it, then made a tactical withdrawal)

"Siri, where do babies come from?" ( Saves me a long embarrassing conversation that I really don't want to have)

I like the idea of Siri, I really do, I think she could become the sort of replacement that I could handle.

If Mr Fashionista ever notices that I am gone and starts looking for me, do you think Siri will grass me up that I've gone to a spa?

Do you have Siri?

Is it fun? Is it? Is it?

What is the strangest thing you've asked it?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

British Gas Pools for Schools Initiative

2011-11-22T12:44:00.001Z

Today marks the beginning of a competition brought to you by British Gas to highlight their Pools For Schools initiative.

If you haven't yet heard of this fantastic scheme, British Gas are providing temporary swimming facilities for schools in areas of "aquatic deprivation". So far this scheme has helped over 10,000 children swim ten metres unaided.

This is a fantastic scheme. As a mother of three young children of primary school age, I was concerned to find that my children only get one term of swimming lessons in total. One term? And some schools don't even get that.

I was lucky, where I attended primary school we had a small indoor pool on site. If they hadn't have had this facility, I wouldn't have learnt to swim.

One in five children are unable to swim at all by the time they leave Primary school, I find this a really sad fact. I have great memories as a child having weekly swimming lessons throughout my primary school life and the thought that my children won't get the same experience due to cutbacks and money saving is quite awful.

Shouldn't all children be given the opportunity to learn how to swim at Primary school level? I think so, and so does British Gas.

So to raise awareness of this great initiative, British Gas have launched a brand new competition

Flip Flop Flip

British Gas are giving the British public the chance to win prizes by taking part in a ‘flip flop lottery’ on their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/britishgas By registering your details you’ll be allocated a number at random (from 1-1000) which matches to a flip flop. On the 10th of December all 1000 flip flops will be thrown into a pool in Birmingham and members of the British Gas BGR swim team will be diving in and pulling up random flip flops, If they bring up your flip flop then you are a winner. Prizes can include signed merchandise, tickets to watch the Swimming championships and much much more.

What are you waiting for?

The competition starts TODAY on the British Gas Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/britishgas and you can also find out more information by following on Twitter http://twitter.com/BGSwimming or taking a look at the British Gas website http://www.britishgas.co.uk/about-british-gas/british-swimming/pool-4-school.html

This great initiative deserves our support and by taking part in the Flip Flop Flip competition maybe we can help it all go............................ swimmingly.

:-D

Big Fashionista x x

Disclaimer; This is a sponsored post but I am completely inspired by this initiative and will be entering myself as it is such an important issue

Did anyone die?

2011-11-21T09:51:00.000Z

I might have to do a quick roll call.

So yesterday I began to blog a post for Monday morning, I got half way through the post and thought "This would make an AMAZING book"

5 hours later, 3,000 words and I have my first three chapters of my book.

What I didn't have was a blog post for Monday!!!!

That shouldn't be a problem, No-one is going to die if I don't post are they? I doubt there are people sprawled at their desks unwilling and unable to move until I actually post something.

So why did I feel so itchy? This morning I haven't even been able to settle into carrying on with my book until I wrote something on my blog.

I write regularly, Monday through to Friday, it is extremely rare that I don't blog during the week. The weekends are my family time where I choose not to blog or usually even open my laptop.

But no blog on a Monday?

I don't think I would be able to get through the day without posting something.

So I need to check,

No-one did actually die did they?

Can I go back to writing the next chapters of my book now?

I'm loving every second of writing it. and hopefully will be able to share some of what I'm writing about with you all very soon.

It isn't what you'd expect me to be writing but I can definitely see a whole book being written.

I'm really excited about it, but definitely won't be forgetting about my blog or you guys x x x x x

Big Fashionista

Nom or Vom

2011-11-18T05:00:00.003Z

So with todays Nom or Vom I'm hoping to appeal to those of you out there with a thing for hot geeks.

Ducks the protractors aimed at my head (protractors are geeky right?)

Personally this one isn't my type but I know that he makes some of you ladies go weak at the knicker elastic so without further ado.

David Tennant

Saucy, especially the last one huh?

So what do we think?

Nom or Vom

Big Fashionista x x

Pay the lady

2011-11-17T05:00:00.002Z

A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager, the barman asks him for £3.90 (London prices you understand)

The man looks at the barman and says,

"I don't actually have a beer budget, perhaps you would like to just give me the beer as personal promotion for yourself"

Firstly, I know I need to work on my stand up act. it wasn't very funny. Secondly, You know damn well that guy isn't getting his beer for free.

Now obviously I am just setting the scene here.

It is that age old situation that has been going on since blogging began.

Why do companies and magazines out there expect bloggers to write their content for free?

Would you expect anyone else to provide their services for free? I wonder if my accountant would provide his services gratis if I told him it would raise his profile?

How about if I rang Waitrose and asked them to let me shop in their store for free? Because OBVIOUSLY my attendance would raise awareness of Waitrose tenfold wouldn't it?

I am getting heartily SICK of emails telling me how much certain companies and online magazines LOVE my blog, they appreciate my skills and would love it if I could contribute regularly to their sites.

"Of course I would be interested" I reply, "would you like to see my rate card"?

And this is when things get ever so slightly awkward.

"Well I'm not sure we can actually pay for contributions at the moment, we think of it as more personal promotion to be on the site currently. Could you add us to your blogroll"

The quote above came directly from someone in Grazia Online who approached ME for content.

Oh no! No budget? How awful, Wow, don't I feel bad for even daring to ask a magazine like Grazia Online to pay me for content that THEY have asked me for!!

What do they pay the writers of the magazine with? Because I'm damn sure their staff don't do it for "personal promotion"

But it seems that bloggers will do this for love, obviously we write purely for the pleasure of the words.

Bloggers don't need to pay bills or anything so trivial, and we certainly don't need to eat for a while as we can just chew on the excitement of seeing our name in print!!!!!!
(It makes our tummy feel all funny)

I don't think I am being unreasonable here when I wonder where some companies get off asking bloggers to write for for them without wanting to pay a penny in return.

From now on I want everyone to think of me and my blog as the writing equivalent of a high class prostitute.

I am VERY good at what I do, and I don't give it away for free.

If you want me, you have to pay for me.

I don't think I am being unreasonable. It is the companies out there that think of bloggers purely as a money making scheme for their own profit that are being totally unreasonable.

And I'm not taking it anymore.

And neither should anyone else. Because while there are bloggers out there willing to be flattered into providing content for free then these companies won't ever need to change their ways.

Ask yourself this, if a company or magazine is contacting YOU about your work then how high do you really need your profile raised? You must be doing ok for them to have found you in the first place.

If we ALL put a value on ourselves and our work then eventually they will realise that we are worth paying.

Don't fall for the "personal promotion" trap.

You are amazing, your blog is amazing, your writing is amazing.

It must be or they wouldn't be contacting you in the first place.

Know your worth and don't be afraid to turn something down if there is no money in it for you and you think there should be.

Big Fashionista x x x

What do you think?

Am I right to expect payment for my content when people have approached me to work for them?

Have you been approached by companies to write for them for free?

OR do you think personal promotion is worth it occasionally.

Let me know x x

Black cab conversations? No thanks guv.

2011-11-16T05:00:00.003Z

I am starting to wonder if perhaps some councils have too much spare cash, too much time on their hands and I am also beginning to have a sneaking suspicion that they are having a secret inter-council christmas competition to see who can come up with the craziest plan to pass as a new rule.

(Loser gets Nick Clegg as a MP)

The current leader in this competition is now Oxford City Council who have decided it would be a hoot to pass a new rule that all black cabs need to have full CCTV and audio in their cabs at all time which will record passengers movements and conversations.

Well that's a bit of a buzz kill isn't it?

Firstly, snogging in a black cab is almost obligitory. That's why they have those large slidey, wipe clean seats isn't it? (Oh the memories) who wants that recorded?

Secondly, I am thinking that Oxford City Council will get bored pretty fast of the following audio comments

"Evening drive, been busy?"

"Morning drive, what time you working till?"

"Roads seem busy today don't they driver?"

"Sorry driver, I've been sick back here" (It had been a heavy night)

I defy you to get in a cab and not ask the driver how busy he has been! It is nigh on impossible, especially in a mini cab where usually a conversation is essential.

Everyone always asks the driver how busy he is. His job is to drive people around for gods sake, would you ask a Lifeguard how wet he got that day? Would you ask a fireman how hot he got that day? (fans self and makes up own answers in my head that usually involve aforementioned fireman stripping off his clothes and covering himself in melting Nutella)

Sorry, where were we? (Gratuitous? Probably, but hey, my blog, my rules)

Oh yes, recording Black cab conversations. Personally I am against it. I don't feel that it is necessary, it is just another step towards a Big Brother state and more importantly, I have to ask, Why in black cabs? Why have they not put forward the idea of recording people on the bus? Or in a school playground? (Some of those school run mothers could organise a military coup over three wines and 2 viscount biscuits and still be in time to pick up their little darlings)

Perhaps it is just Oxford City Council hope for a higher class of conversation in a black cab?

Stock tips or something? Advice on the best places to dine out in Oxford? Who got a whole in one? There are plenty of students as well so perhaps, who got one in the hole?

I get the feeling that this crazy idea came from a department that is usually kept deep in the bowels of Oxford City Councils town hall. Bless them they don't get out much and are just acting out a bit for attention.

I would lay good money on the fact that they don't even pass this scheme.

What do you think?

Do you think it is a good idea to fit CCTV and audio into black cabs?

OR are you still imagining licking melting nutella off that fireman?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

2011-11-15T05:00:00.001Z

Freddie, Jason, Michael.

Did these guys make my life hell when I was younger or what!

Nope, not teen boyfriends, much worse.

Freddie Krueger

Jason Vorhees

Micheal Myers

Well at least these guys gave me the willies (What can I say, I was a GOOD girl)

I have to confess, since I was a teenager I have always hated horror films. I am the original scaredy cat, a total wussy pants.

Now I don't mind films with blood and guts. I can sit and watch the Saw films with a jam sandwich in one hand and a turkey leg in the other (What can I say, I'm a classy chick like that) but add some moody, building the anticipation music and a knock on the door and I become a quivering wreck.

I just don't like being scared. I tried to watch Paranormal Activity the other week, It took me three days, I lost two fingernails and took about four years off my life expectancy. (I think the missing fingernails may still be embedded in Mr Fashionistas hand)

I have never been a fan of scary films, even the sound of the Jaws music is enough to make me turn over the channel to cleanse myself in good old Disney. (There is never anyone hiding behind a door ready to disembowel and eat your brains in Tangled is there?)

I know they aren't real, of course I do. But my body goes into fight or flight mode at the first sign of something even vaguely scary and I just can't watch for long.

Even when I really want to try to face my irrational fears.

Picture the scene. Three friends go to the cinema, the film we wanted to see was fully booked so we thought it would be interesting to watch The Strangers. I tell myself, I'm 35 for gods sake. I think I can sit through a film for two hours without squealing.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to everyone in the rows around me who had to watch as I slowly disintegrated into a snivelling, sobbing, puddle who rocked back and forth muttering "s'not real, s'not real, s'not real" (I'm not apologising to the three teenagers who decided that watching me was so much funnier than the film and were wetting themselves at my demise-Kids today, no respect)

Seriously, that film was SCARY. You know the sort of film, someone goes to the window, the music starts to build, they pull back the curtains and BANG, nothing. But the music gets louder, they go back to the window, (why are they going back to the window? Why?) the music gets even louder, they pull back the curtain again and NOTHING. They start to walk away from the window but they want to have one last look. (By this time I am screaming at my television that they deserve everything they have coming to them, fools) they open the curtain and there is someone there ready to slice off their face and eat it in a baguette with fried red onions. (God, I'm hungry)

My heart can't take this level of anticipation and fright. I rate films on whether I will watch them from behind a pillow, a duvet or Mr Fashionista.

I could avoid these films all together, but where would be the fun in that. A little fright every now and then surely helps us to remember that we are alive.

Doesn't it?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Matalan Style Project Blogger Challenge

2011-11-14T05:00:00.018Z

Recently I was asked by Matalan if I would like to take part in their Style Challenge and seeing as I worship at the alter of Matalan on a weekly basis I couldn't say no.

4 Bloggers, 1 Winner.

Matalan gave me a theme and a budget of £50 and then let me loose like a small child in a Toys R Us. (It wasn't pretty, and there were tantrums, oh there were tantrums)

I am up against some stiff competition, I have to admit that out of all four outfits, my own included, I love Sailor Jennys the most. (smiles through gritted teeth)

But I want to give you a closer look at my outfit because I do love it so much and especially the earrings, Oh the earrings.

MY BEST PURCHASE EVER.

Check out those bad boys. Statement jewellery or what? They are heavy, made of metal and jangle when I laugh.

and I haven't told you the best bit about them.

They were reduced to £3

£3? I can spend more than that on Peanut butter cups each day.
(Addictive little buggers)

But aren't they stunning? They make me want to wear my hair styled on top of my head and pull on a ballgown. (instead of wearing them while cleaning the house which is what I have been doing-Oh my glamourous life)

Take a look at the shoes in close up.

and a small cheeky glimpse of my tattoo while we are at it

I'm not usually a wearer of heels unless I am going out (and even then I complain like a whiny bitch all evening that my feet hurt) but these shoes from Matalan are possibly THE most comfortable heels I have ever worn. I even wore them to go shopping the other day. Slowly they have wormed their way into my day to day wardrobe, and I ain't complaining. Plus, they only cost £12. I don't know about you but I've paid more than that for a pair of tights before!!!!

Want to see the whole outfit?

(Please don't look at my face, I was grey with pain when the picture was taken and totally overdid the bronzer, I looked like I'd rolled in powdered Oompa Loompas)

This is my look I put together for the challenge and the brief was "Party Season" I wanted to go for a look that you could take directly from work to play. Unbutton the shirt to reveal the vest top underneath and add accessories. Voila P-A-R-T Y? Coz I gotta.

Now my outfit may not be to everyones taste but I am happy with the result.

If you would like to vote for my look, head over to the Matalan site HERE and leave a comment.

and let me know what you think.

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2011-11-11T05:00:00.001Z

As always, trying to justify giving you hot, half naked pictures of gorgeous male celebs means that I have to keep up with current events and try to weave a topical sexy celeb into Nom or Vom. (I feel like a poor girls copy of Heat magazine)

Now I could've brought you Frankie Cocozza.......................

But I love you too much to do it to you
(plus my laptop would probably catch a virus)

Instead I bring you an offering of male hunkage that as usual won't be to everyones taste, but we will definitely be seeing a lot of this cheeky Essex chappie over the coming weeks.

Ladies & Gentlemen.

Mark Wright of TOWIE fame. Soon to be gracing our screens once more in I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.

(Insert your own gearstick joke here)

So Ladies & Gentlemen, What do you think?

Nom or Vom

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x x

Presidents of the bitching club

2011-11-10T05:00:00.001Z

Oh Mr President Obama and President Sarkozy, Tut, tut, tut, this is my disappointed face. Gentlemen you broke the golden rule when bitching about a work colleague. Basically you didn't check to see if anyone was listening.

Although giant microphones in front of your gobby little traps should really have given the game away!!!

Oh and the giant bank of reporters listening in who all started to write things down as you spoke should also have been a GIANT hint that perhaps your little bitchfest wasn't as private as you had hoped.

ROOKIES

For those that missed it, President Sarkozy was whining about the Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (I googled the correct spelling-bite me) saying he couldn't stand him anymore and he is a liar. President Obama was then heard to reply "You may be sick of him , but me, I have to deal with him every day"

Not the worst comments in the world I grant you (I've said worse) but still a schoolboy error gentlemen. You wouldn't catch two women having a bitch about a colleague in the toilets without first checking the cubicles would you?

It just so happens that the cubicles you didn't check were microphones RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

Did Gordon Brown never sit down with you both after a G20 summit over a couple of pints and say "let me tell you a funny story about a microphone and a woman named Gillian Duffy"

These guys both run countries for gods sake. If they can't organise a bitchfest at a summit then I truly fear for the future of the whole world.

I've never been caught bitching. I've bitched, of course I've bitched. everyone does. It isn't always meant to be mean, sometimes it is just a way of venting frustration (sometimes it is totally meant to be mean) but I've never been caught. THANK GOD.

I think I would just die. The whole point of bitching about someone is surely that they don't hear it!!!

If they hear it, well then GAME OVER.

Your best bet is to put your hands up, apologise and explain your position.
(or just not take their calls again hey Mr Presidents?)

How about you? What's your position on Bitch-gate or whatever they are calling it.

Or even better, have YOU ever been caught bitching about someone? (feel free to use the anon button if it makes you feel better, obviously NOT to bitch about me though)

Let me know.

Big Fashionista x x x

Glossy Box review-October box

2011-11-09T05:00:00.001Z

I know it is now November but I hate it when everyone posts about the same thing all at once (cough, well-known lipstick sealer, cough) So I wanted to wait a while before giving my own personal opinion on the GlossyBox phenomenon.

The October box was sent to me for review purposes but as always I guarantee my honest opinion. I really don't agree with bloggers who if they don't like a product just refuse to review it on their blog. (form an orderly queue to chew me out on that one below)

On with the review.

(I am not going to give you the spiel about Glossybox and how it works because you would have to be living under a rock not to have heard about this service by now)

Firstly the box.

It is pink, with black tissue paper and a pink ribbon. What's not to like? It is a box for gods sake. Shall we move on?

The products, let's face it. It is the most important part.

So what do you get for your money in the October box?

Stila Smudge Stick Waterproof Eyeliner in Moray £13.00

My first opinion was "Oh great, send me a colour that I can buy from Boots Clearance why don't you?" It's green!! GREEN. I've never worn green eyeliner in my life.
But those clever people at GlossyBox know their stuff. It is gorgeous. I'm a convert, it smudges (the clue is in the name) it's waterproof (I catch on fast don't I?) and surely the whole point of GlossyBox is trying something that you wouldn't usually pick up?
The only other issue that I have is that we were warned not to over twist the eyeliner as it doesn't go back down in the tube. Raises eyebrow

Leighton Denny Expert Nails Colour & Care £11.00

Now I saw a lot of people sobbing on twitter as they received a blue colour varnish which reminded me of a blended cream smurf (Do Starbucks do them? they sound yummy) Luckily I got a lovely pink colour which makes it a lot easier to say that I wouldn't have minded what colour I received as again surely it doesn't matter what the colour is. I have never tried Leighton Denny before but after trying this and loving the formula and how it sits on my nails (Oh I don't know the proper beauty blogger term, I'm winging it here) I know that I would definitely purchase Leighton Denny again, in a colour I want.

Dermalogica Age Smart- MultiVitamin Thermofoliant and MultiVitamin Power Recover Masque £40.50 £33.00 for Full size products

It is Dermalogica, there is nothing more to say other than LOVE. As it was the 6th box there was an added 6th bonus product which was the Dermalogica Age Smart Renewal Lip Complex AND a Dermalogica beauty bag big enough to hold all the products.

My only complaint here is that both products recommended using with the Dermalogica Age Smart Moisturiser. I would have preferred one of the above products and a sample sized moisturiser to see how both products complimented each other. But hey, it's Dermalogica. I'm not complaining, I am writing my letter to Santa to re-order full sizes of these products.

Robert Piguet Eau de Parfums £65.00 Full size

Takes a deep breath. I REALLY hated these. I know I am probably meant to say that the top-note and the base-notes were floral or woody or some sort of blurb like that but honestly? I'd rather have had a sample of my Auntie Pat's urine to sniff. This could be me, I don't have a good palette, I wear Paul Smith Rose, Armani Code. This is probably far too sophisticated for my nose to bear. What can I say? I'm a chav. GlossyBox has shown me perfumes I didn't like and I have learnt I like perfume like my men. (Cheap, yet long-lasting)

So overall my Glossbox experience was a good one.

Would I pay £10 per month plus P&P for it? Yes I would. I like the idea of trying new products that usually I would pass by. The outstanding product for me was the Stila eyeliner, it taught me not to be afraid of trying something new. The biggest let down obviously was the perfumes. but that is my own personal taste.

You can try GlossyBox for yourself at www.glossybox.co.uk

They have various incentives to sign up at the moment such as Glossydots which encourage people to invite friends and review products and every box comes with special offers for if you wish to repurchase products you have tried.

Once again, this box was sent to me by GlossyBox for review purposes. But all opinions are my own as it would take more than a box of beauty pretties to influence me and my opinion.

I would love your opinion on my review and let me know what you thought of your October Glossybox.

Big Fashionista x x

A Pregnant Royal Pause

2011-11-08T05:00:00.001Z

So tabloids, teen sites and fashion watchers everywhere are rubbing their hands together in glee at the thought that Kate Middleton, Catherine Windsor or whatever we are meant to call her now, may possibly be up the duff.

Personally I don't give a monkeys. I am still in therapy from Victoria Beckhams pregnancy, the spawning of Suri Cruise and be careful because the Beyonce is-she-isn't-she farce is going to tip me over the edge pretty soon.

I am REALLY hoping that Kate is just messing with the media. Her and Wills were sitting up late one evening in their Holiday Inn (NON-SPONSORED, it could be any other budget motel room) drinking Babycham, eating Haagen Daaz and Jelly Belly (Sponsor me. please) Jelly Beans and decided that the funniest thing they could do on their trip as they didn't manage to drag Grandad Phillip along for "giggles" was pretend to be "with child"

I wouldn't put it past Kate to do her next official visit in tracksuit bottoms carrying a lump of coal, ice chips and a vomit bag.

I know I would.

(Although to be fair I would have walked down the aisle with a pillow shoved up my Vera Wang (Not a euphamism) just to mess with everyones head)

This is REALLY going to mess with Reiss hiding their larger sizes policy isn't it?
http://big-fashionista.blogspot.com/2010/11/reiss-porky-pies.html
Do they even do Maternity?

Maybe, and I am just going to throw this out there. Maybe, she just doesn't like peanuts. Maybe when she was caught rubbing her stomach yesterday, she was thinking, "Crikey guv'nor, I am so bloody hungry I would eat peanut paste if it was put in front of me right now"

(No I really don't know why I just made Kate sound like Dick Van Dyke, It just fitted, don't judge me)

Is there not enough tabloid fodder out there at the moment?

Has Frankie Cocozza not shagged enough "birds"

(How many would be enough anyway?)

Are there not enough fashion disasters happening on a daily basis for the fashion watchers out there to sharpen their Shellacs on?

I am pretty sure there are.

I can only imagine what Liz Jones and the Daily Mail will have to say on the subject if she IS pregnant.
(Especially if she got pregnant while abroad!!!!! Oh the shame. They would probably call on William to abdicate for making immigration numbers rise)

And what terrifies me is I'm wondering if Channel 5 will attempt to buy the birth rights!
(This is Brian Dowling, we're coming to get youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu)

You know they'll think about it don't you?

What do you think?

Would Kate knock Beyonce off her stylish pregnancy pedestal?

Are you considering emigrating to somewhere without media or internet connection if she is preggers?

Do you honestly even care one way or the other?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2011-11-04T05:00:00.001Z

Every week I ask for recommendations for Nom or Vom and every week a certain person asks for Brian Cox

naming no names

cough @Jojomojo_71 cough

Now I admire persistance, so this weeks Nom or Vom although slightly different is someone that Jo obviously crushes on, and who are we to destroy someones crush?

Ladies and Gentlemen

Brian Cox

Erm, what do you mean that is the wrong one??????????

Obviously Ms Jojo isn't as freaky as I first thought!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen

PROFESSOR Brian Cox

Can I make a Big Bang joke yet?

How about now?

Now?

So, Professor Brian Cox.

Would he get a "Big Bang" from you?

Would you like to see his telescopic lens?

Or should I have posted the disturbing naked shots I found of the other Brian Cox instead?

What do we think everyone?

Nom or Vom

Big Fashionista x x x

Baby baby baby oh (no)

2011-11-03T05:00:00.001Z

Justin Bieber has never really been on my radar, I'm a 35 year old woman with an actual working brain and twenty years past fancing pop stars (But if Matt Goss is reading this, I still would hun............ call me) but today it has been alleged that he has fathered a child with a fan.

Really?

I have to admit that I think of Justin Bieber as a Ken doll sort of creation, completely sexless, manufactured and plastic (yeah, I went there)

As someone pointed out to me on Twitter today "Surely Bieber was created in a laboratory"

I have to agree

I wonder what the formula is for a Bieber monster creation anyway?

Three parts teeth
Six parts hair
One percent talent

Voila, I think I may have created the next "Big Thing"

Maybe if I build five of them I could make a boy band with floppy hair and a smidgeon of talent between them........................................................ (What do you mean it's already been done? Who is this One Direction of which you speak)

So everyone is up in arms that ALLEGEDLY (I really can't afford a solicitor at the moment) Justin Bieber is now a daddy?

Fans are sobbing, JLS are concerned about their condom contract and Twitterers are busy making up new hashtags

#ThingsThatLastLongerThanKimKardashiansMarriageJustinsOrgasms

#WhosTheDaddyJustinsTheDaddy

#ImpregnatemeNextJustin

(Disclaimer, I may have just made these up-Don't sue me)

People are genuinely shocked. Now I don't know if it is true (to be honest, I don't really care) all I know is that the tabloids will be having a field day and out there is an innocent child that is either the offspring of a child OR the offspring of a fantasist.

Poor child.
(and I don't mean Bieber)

What do you think?

Are you amused at the Bieber story? Do you even know who Bieber is? (or care)

And can anyone else hear the sound of Hugh Grant sobbing with relief that the story broke the same day he announced his love child?
(I'll be back for you Mr Grant, don't worry about that)

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Poppy Watch

2011-11-02T05:00:00.001Z

Remembrance Sunday is coming up, a time for us all to remember and be grateful for the sacrifices made on our behalf.

Each year I wear a poppy, brought from The British Legion. I usually purchase a paper one and an enamel one. I always end up losing the paper ones and end up replacing them quite often. A small outlay which I am happy to make.

Thats MY choice.

I don't think companies should ban people from wearing poppies (Yeah I'm looking at you Poundland) But at the same time I don't think that people should be villified for NOT wearing one.

There are a lot of people out there who sit in front of the TV waiting for people to appear without a poppy so they can hold them up to be burnt at the stake.

They rub their hands in glee if they catch a commentator on Match Of The Day or a newsreader sans Poppy. It makes the news, the front page of the tabloids and various internet trolls howl loudly about how they might as well just piss on the Cenotaph with the amount of disrespect they are showing.

I don't know about you but in my opinion wearing a Poppy shouldn't be something forced upon people.

Surely that isn't what out relatives fought for?

No-one should be shamed into wearing a Poppy or wear one out of duty or fear of reprisals from tabloid newspapers. (I'm looking at you Daily Mail)

People should wear them out of pride and so that we never forget. To show our love and support for those that fought or lost their lives.

Some people wear poppies on their jackets, some people have poppies in their hearts, it is like religion. You don't HAVE to wear a crucifix to believe in god and you don't HAVE to wear a poppy to show your respect for those who have laid down their lives.

I know that my grandfather wouldn't have wanted me to wear a poppy out of duty.

He would have wanted me to wear it out of choice.

Because isn't that part of what they fought for?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

A question.

2011-11-01T08:30:00.002Z

The Kardashians

Why?

Halloween Safety

2011-10-31T05:00:00.001Z

So it is that one day of the year where common sense goes out of the window and some parents positively encourage their children to take sweets from strangers!

Go figure that one out.

Each year my doorbell rings and strange children stand at my door asking for sweeties!!!

Most of them knock without adults. Now personally this scares me more than my reflection in the mirror sans make-up.

I consider myself to be (almost) normal, but what if I was completly insane and liked stealing children? (I really don't, most of the time I don't want my own)

I love Halloween, I dress up, I get involved, there is always sweeties enough for anyone who knocks but PLEASE, If your child is old enough to Trick or Treat, make sure a responsible adult goes with them.

Plus if you go, you are entitled to a cut of the goodies.

Thems the rules.

Have fun, and stay safe x x x

Big Fashionista

Mothers at BNTM Live. You have been warned

2011-10-29T11:44:00.000+01:00

So yesterday I attended Britains Next Top Model Live at the Excel centre.

Pass me the wine because a day later I am still trying to recover.

I took my eleven year old daughter with me, Why you ask? Because she doesn't already spend enough of my money and I thought I'd give her an opportunity to bleed me dry. (What can I say, I'm a legend)

What I DIDN'T take her for is to be "DISCOVERED"

Which is what a LOT of mothers seemed to do.

Nine year old girls in heels higher than mine, more make up than me and quite honestly, better applied than mine (biatches)

and they were everywhere, being not so gently propelled by pushy mothers towards the casting stage, the model scouts and all the photography booths in the building.

You could almost smell the desperation oozing from the mothers pores, (Or was that Tulisa's new fragrance?) They want their daughters to be the next big thing.

So obviously the way to do that is to dress them as mini-whores and slap more make-up on them than at a Katie Price drag queen convention!!!

and I'm not being funny but some of these girls were dog ugly!!!!
(I jest, I jest)

I actually had to leave after three hours because I was concerned I would start cornering small children and wet wiping them (apparently that is frowned upon) Either that or have some strong words with some mothers who are obviously trying to reclaim their youth through their daughters.

I walked around with a permanent sneer on my face. I was Judgedy McJudge from the clan McJudgey. I have NO time for the women who do this. Over-sexualisation of pre-teens is bad enough without the very women who are meant to protect these children making it WORSE.

Mothers, you want your daughter to be discovered as a model?

take a photo, send it to a reputable agency and then let it be.

Stop living your dreams through your children. Or next time I go to one of these events I WILL take wet-wipes AND A MIRROR, and I will force you to take a good long look at yourself.

You have been warned.

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2011-10-28T05:00:00.001+01:00

So I didn't win the Cosmopolitan Blog Awards, so there is only one thing that will cheer me up this Friday,

Nom or Vom (and a shitload of alcohol)

Now because you lot are so bloody difficult to please I thought I would do something different this week.

This one is one I like. so no whinging that he is a vom because I will stick my fingers in my ears and go na na na na na. (or possibly sing, and NO-ONE wants that-trust me)

Ladies and gentlemen

I give you

MICHAEL BUBLE

(anyone else imagining he is beckoning them into his bed?? Just me then)

So there you go, Michael Buble, unfortunately it was impossible to find a naked pic of him. but I live in hope.

(if you find one, feel free to email me it, I do need a new screensaver and a naked MB would be luvverly)

So what do we think?

Nom or Vom?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

A shock confession

2011-10-25T05:00:00.001+01:00

I have been keeping a secret for a while now.

A secret so shameful I don't know if I can even write it down.

I am deep in the grip of addiction so strong, I cannot possibly see a way out of it.

It started as research,

I needed to know what it was like. How could I judge others when I didn't know what it was like to experience it for myself first hand.

I thought I could handle it. It would just be the once. and then never again.............

Of course it never works like that does it.

Shall I just say it.

My name is Kellie Hill........................................................

and I am addicted to The Only Way Is Essex.

Wow, I thought it would be harder than that.

Please don't judge me.

I wrote a post a while ago completely slating TOWIE, I HAD to watch a whole episode to be able to judge it fully. I watched, I hated, I wrote, I judged and that was it..........

Until the next time it was on........ I reasoned that perhaps it was a bad episode. I should watch another one to be able to completely hate it with a clear conscience.

I watched, I hated, I judged AND THEN PUT IT ON SERIES LINK!!!!

The bloody programme left it on a cliff hanger, I HAD to watch the next one just to see what would happen next........ didn't I?

Now ITV2 is my dealer and TOWIE is my crack. They know just how much to dangle in front of me to keep me coming back for more.

Don't get me wrong I don't enjoy it. I feel pale after I watch it, underdressed and fat. but on the plus side, I also feel clever. I mean REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY clever.

These people are as dumb as a box of frogs.

And yet I still want to watch them!!! Does this say more about me or them? (Don't answer that)

I honestly just can't help myself. I try to keep away. I really do. I don''t want to be just another viewer who says "Reem" and Shuuuuuuut upppppppppppppppppp"

Every Sunday and Wednesday I hope that today will be the day that I finally succeed in getting the orange monkey off my back, and every time I fail. Miserably.

I've even started following them on Twitter. (one a day so no-one notices, I'm even ACTING like an addict. hiding my dirty habit from everyone who cares for me)

I know they can't act, that everything is a set up. I am not that far gone in my love for all things TOWIE that I can't see the wooden for the me's

But I know it won't be long. I am eyeing up Ronseal wondering what shade would suit me best. Perhaps, it IS too late for me.

But you can still save yourselves.

I beg you to stay away from this programme before it sinks deep into your brain. You will think you can handle it, I did too. You will kid yourself that you are in control. You aren't.

THEY ARE.

And I don't think I am strong enough to break free alone.

Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Big Fashionista

If you have been affected by what you have read today or if you or someone close to you is also affected by TOWIE addiction then please, step forward. TOGETHER we may be able to beat this horrible addiction.

Let me know

BF

Jaws of death

2011-10-24T05:00:00.000+01:00

So over the weekend it has been all over the tabloids once again that a shark has killed someone who was swimming in water!!!

Am I the only one not at all shocked here?

If I decided to go for a walk in a LION reserve, would there be anyone wailing at my graveside, consoling my husband Gary Barlow saying, I KNOW!!! Eaten by lions, what a surprise!!!!!

Of course not (although half of my friends would probably be in the adjoining graves, "A trip through a lion reserve????? Will there be wine? Count me in)

But yet people are still surprised and horrified when they get love bites from a shark.

In the water

Where sharks live.

Bastard sharks, how dare they?

Let's go hunt down and kill every shark in the area that may or may not have done what comes naturally to sharks.

Who is in the wrong here?

If a shark came bowling into your house in the middle of the night, fully tooled up with its pearly whites you would feel fully justified in making shark fin soup out of it (and maybe some boots and a cute toothy necklace perhaps)

and you aren't even hungry.

People wander into an area where they know there are sharks and then get pissed off they get eaten.

Stupid people.

I'm bored of it all now.

If you go in the water and get your legs bitten off by a shark.....................................

Don't come running to me for sympathy.

Big Fashionista x x

And the winner is..........................

2011-10-23T19:37:00.000+01:00

So the lucky winner of the bracelet from Chain of Daisies is...................

Jo Davie

Congratulations Jo, If you can email me at BigFashionista@sky.com and then I can pass your details on to Chain of Daisies.

Well Done Jo x x x

Big Fashionista x x

Immigrants cause cancer, by Liz Jones

2011-10-20T05:00:00.001+01:00

This post is designed to unashamedly and unapologetically rip the piss out of Liz Jones. If you feel that you may be offended by the following post, then you may want to look away now. (Don't say I didn't warn you) If you feel that you may enjoy this post, grab a coffee, sit down and enjoy as I attempt to write in the style of Liz Jones!!!!

As I was drinking my glass of muddy river water this morning, a small tip I picked up on a recent trip abroad-those Somalian women have some fantastic diet tips, I read an interesting article by a lesser-known journalist who dresses far older than her age by the way, about Garra Rufa fish being the cause of the spread of hepatitis, HIV and possibly even cancer.

I was shocked! Absolutely shocked. If I hadn't thrown up most of my river water breakfast already then I may have vomited in disgust!!

I often take a trip to a highly specialised Knightsbridge salon for a fishy nibbling treat, in fact I specifically asked them to make a special tank just for me so that when I am feeling especially obese I can put my whole body into the tank and the fish just nibble away at any excess skin I have. I have been known to lose a whole 8 ounces in one trip.

How more fat people don't have the self respect to ask their local salon to build them a tank I really don't know. I don't mind looking at obese people for a little while as long as I know they are doing something about it,

The one good thing I found about Somalia is that the women are a lot more pleasant to look at, and I think some of them were really happy when I said I had arranged for a doctor to come out and visit them.

I am SO glad that they grasp the idea that a breast lift and possible enlargement is a good idea, and my surgeon has said he will look into a possible installment plan for them to pay it off monthly, I suggested to him he tells them to discuss their new breasts with their friends over dinner parties.

I have to wonder if these cancer spreading, HIV carrying fish are perhaps caused by immigrants in some way or another. Some of these poor people have never had the pleasure of designer shoes before!!! They have never experienced the feel or even the sound of Louis Vuitton court shoes clacking over cobblestones and so have no idea of the pain and discomfort which I go through daily. If they have no sympathy for me and my LV blisters, why should I have any sympathy for them? Is it my fault that some countries prefer to go barefoot?

When I read in Vogue that going barefoot is once again fashionable, then I shall partake. Until then, unless I am in Exmoor where people think Louis Vuitton is the cousin/husband of the local postmistress I will not be shoe-less thank you very much.

It is obvious to me that these people with their dirty, sweaty feet are the ones who are polluting the homes of the fish. I am sure that the Ugg wearing chav types who frequent the salons and then scream that the fish are tickling their toes haven't even thought of having botox injected into their feet and it is this lack of forward thinking that is spreading hepatitis and yes CANCER!! I'm not afraid to use the cancer word. I know someone, who knows someone, who once was served in a Waitrose on holiday by a woman whose mother had CANCER. How horrific is that? I was touched by this so strongly that I had to arrange immediately a visit to my personal doctor to have a full body scan and some complimentary therapies to help de-stress myself. I haven't been able to bring myself to speak to this jellyfish woman since. HOW DARE SHE bring such negativity into my world!

The fish pedicure is so early 2011 anyway. Does anyone EVEN have these anymore? and what will happen to the fish when the last person has had their filthy hard skin chewed off.

Can I buy them all up to put in my swimming pool in my country home? I'm sure I will be able to rent them out to my neighbours if I tell them the fish will be able to chew off their tails.

LJ x x

AKA
Big Fashionista x x

Daddy's little girl

2011-10-18T05:00:00.001+01:00

Do we ever grow out of ever being daddy's little girl?

I have an eleven year old daughter and poor Mr Fashionista is getting so stressed that if he had any hair..... it would probably fall out.

If he thought it was at all possible, I swear he would be applying for a shotgun licence right now to keep the mean boys away.

He is even starting to identify with Rapunzels father and is pricing up really tall towers as we speak. (Is there REALLY a buyatower.com?)

It is hard for dads when their little girls start to grow up isn't it? They want to protect their little girls in a way that is completely different from mums. I think that as mums we want our children to grow up, experience life and love and be with them every step of the way. Through the tears (the stand up rows) and the unrequited love, we WANT our girls to experience the highs and the lows. We may be there with the tissues (and the "I told you so's") we may want to hear all the details (ok, not quite all of them) but I think we as mums know that a little bit of pain and heartbreak isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Daddies? .....................................

erm, not so much.

Someone hurting their little girl or breaking their heart?

Not on daddys watch.

No-one upsets their little girl. Whether they are 7, 17, 37 or 57 you never stop being a little girl in your fathers eyes and your daddy will always protect you.

I'm sure it isn't easy being a daddy. All that growling at boys must be exhausting. Even "friends that are boys" don't escape the daddy stare or the suspicious looks. And if you are seriously unlucky, the little "friendly chat" that dads have with the boy that dares to look at their daughter with lust in their eyes can cause fear so deep, they won't call (hell some cowards won't even make eye contact again)

And is a daddy ever sorry?

Nope, because that is a daddy's job.

So hug your daddy, bless him it is hard for him. All these protective feelings are confusing for him too. Maybe sometimes he goes too far, but he doesn't mean it.

Just try not to mention the name of that boy you like in front of him ok?

Are you a daddy's little girl?

What has your daddy done to protect you?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Competition time-Want to win a bracelet from Chain of Daisies?

2011-10-17T05:00:00.001+01:00

Ah Monday, you come around so fast.

If like me you are feeling that Monday should only pay a visit once a month (a bit like a period, you dread it coming but are then thankful it's finally arrived) then I have something to try to cheer you up a bit.

I make no secret of the fact I am a lover of accessories. Accessories can make or break an outfit, give you a way to dress up an outfit or just make you feel special (and you ARE special, you know that right?)

So in conjunction with the fabulous CHAIN OF DAISIES I have a giveaway of this beautiful bracelet

Gorgeous right?

The Swallows Tale bracelet is just one of the beautiful pieces available from Chain of Daisies and to be in with a chance to win this bracelet all you have to do is this.

Firstly be a follower of this blog

secondly go and follow @Chainofdaisies on Twitter

and then go and have a look on the Chain of Daisies website here

-> CHAINOFDAISIES

and tell me what is your favourite accessory from Chain of Daisies.

This is mine at the moment, I make no secret of my love of all things Dragonfly and this is the prettiest Dragonfly necklace I've seen.

The competition will close at 5pm on Friday evening and is open to UK followers only.

So what is YOUR favourite piece.

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Shrek The Musical-Review

2011-10-13T10:57:00.001+01:00

If you want belly laughs, if you like to go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and if you like your theatre going experience to include talking donkeys and Nigel Harman crawling around on his knees (yeah baby) then you need to go to see Shrek The Musical at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.

Myself, Mr Fashionista and two mini Fashionistas went to watch Shrek The Musical last night and we LOVED it.

Based loosely on the film, the show brings a whole new dimension to Shrek and gives more of a back story which honestly is quite sad. (That's where you go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) The songs are toe-tappingly good and you find yourself being drawn into the world of Shrek & Co so easily that I found myself slipping on a pair of Shrek ears (much to the dismay of the mini fashionistas) and dancing along in my seat (A couple of years of therapy and they will be right as rain)

The level of acting in the show is superb, Nigel Harman is hysterical as Lord Farquaad and never has a better baddie strutted on a stage, I loved that some of his jokes went straight over the childrens heads and were aimed at the adults, Nigel Lindsay played an excellent Shrek and was very true to the film character. Unfortunately Richard Blackwood who I had heard is amazing as Donkey was off the night we visited but his understudy Delroy Atkinson was brilliant and slotted in as though he played the character constantly, Kimberley Walsh of Girls Aloud fame, although I had issues with her accent was refreshing and surprisingly good.

My favourite character was the Dragon, a show stopping piece of theatrical puppetry that was hypnotic and breathtaking to watch.

Is it a family show? Yes it is. Can you go without dragging random children with you just to make it look better? Yes you definitely can.

This show appeals to everyone, there are some jokes that (hopefully) went over my childrens heads, the music is brilliant and there is nothing cheesy about Shrek. The burping and farting song had everyone laughing, even the grumpy old man in front of us.

If you are thinking about taking in a show then my recommendation of the moment is definitely this.

Shrek The Musical

He may be green but it's a sight to be seen.

Shrek ears are optional.

Big Fashionista x x x

Blackberry FAIL

2011-10-12T05:00:00.000+01:00

These have been a traumatic couple of days for me, and many others like me.

BLACKBERRY USERS

Seriously, you iPhone users all smug with your apps and your emails and your messenger functions (oh, no messenger function? My bad) You can't even BEGIN to imagine our pain at the moment.

I think we need a helpline!!!!! We can still dial from our phones can't we? Or a support group!! Can't we set up a support group?

Usually I get the shakes when I enter an area with no 3G connection!!!! To be without my emails, my BBM and my internet is KILLING me slowly.

I feel like I now know what it is like to be Amish (A slight exaggeration? I think not)

I might as well have been stuck in a cave with Edwina Curry for the lack of current information I'm receiving. (She's still in Strictly Come Dancing right?.............Oh FFS) Currently my Blackberry is holding my emails to ransom, reading my texts like a prison guard before deciding whether I should have them or not and has decided that I don't need my BBM at all. (Possibly as a punishment for over-using the smiley function-what can I say, I text like a 13 year old girl-LOL)

If I wanted a phone to just talk on I would've bought a LG phone!!!! Instead I bought a smartphone, not very smart huh?

I rarely actually talk on my phone. I email, I text, BBM, I use my apps. What cruel and unusual punishment is it to actually take it all away from me ALL AT ONCE, not even just one thing at a time!! If it had been gradual then maybe I would have been able to take it. like a frog in slowly warming water I would have just adjusted and dealt with it. instead, ouchie, RIM have just dunked me in a pot of boiling hot water and added some vegetables. It's a technology free soup.

And just as I couldn't take it anymore, it came back. and THEN just as I was sacrificing a small kid (a baby goat, i'm not a psycho) at the alter of Research In Motion to say thank you..

THEY TOOK IT AWAY AGAIN.

How sick and twisted is that?????????????

Perhaps my lesson learnt here is never to depend upon technology too much. My blackberry wasn't just a phone for me, it had become an extension OF me.

And if I'm honest.........................................................

I think I may be missing it TOO much

Maybe I should go check out some Amish fashion magazines and move to Ohio.

That might work................................................... right?.......................... right?

Big Fashionista x x

Bug-ging out

2011-10-11T05:00:00.000+01:00

It's October, it really isn't that cold and the sun is still shining.
(Check me out, I'm a weather girl-that's one for the bucket list)

Anyone else get the feeling that all the wasps aren't getting the memo that it is time for them to do the right thing and just DIE?

Yesterday I got cornered in my own home by a huge wasp that seemed more than slightly high on life and was intent on trying to end mine.

You may think this is slightly dramatic but me and wasps have a long horrible history. They spend their whole summer terrorising me half to death in new and inventive ways, like hiding in coke cans or dive bombing me when I am standing looking over a cliff. (Gits) And I spend my summer trying to wipe out the whole evil species every chance I get.

We can never reach an uneasy truce either.

A ceasefire is only reached once the end of September arrives and they start to die off like old people in flu season.

But this year the wasps are enjoying a later burst of energy and they are acting like drunks at a pub lock-in. they are getting a little bit lairy and quite a bit fighty.

This is totally unacceptable to me.

Do you know how difficult it is to find wasp spray at this time of year? If I wanted to hit them with a Santa Claus, that I could do. (Hell, I could probably spank them with an Easter egg if I paid a visit to Sainsburys) but Wasp spray? Rare than rocking horse shit at the moment.

Wasps in October have no fear either! It is like they just KNOW they are living on borrowed time and if they are going down, they are going to take some of us with them. (Stripey little psychopaths)

They have nothing to lose, they know that their end is nigh, so if they can get some extra kicks by forcing me off a cliff or failing that, just stinging me to death? You just know that they are going to grasp that opportunity with all six legs and just fly with it.

Me? I'm off to the shed to see if I have any wasp spray in reserve.

Then me and all the wasps are going to fight it out to the DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish them luck, they're going to need it.

Anyone else having problems with the devil wasps sent from satan at the moment?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

When bad makeovers happen to good people

2011-10-10T09:53:00.000+01:00

When I first started my blog, the first thing I decided was that I would never put down anyones style. I am a great believer in individual choice. If you want to wear a swan to an award ceremony-Rock on. If you want to wear vintage Primark, that is completely your choice. I'm not here to judge you (trust me, if you saw what I was wearing today, you would understand)

But holy mother of Versace what did they do to some of the people on The X Factor this weekend?

If you haven't been watching X Factor, good for you. If I could wean myself off of the Simon Cowell crack then I would but just as I thought I had got clean, they threw Gary Barlow into the mix. Instant addiction (Oh Mr Cowell you clever, clever man)

Let's start with Amelia Lily

Now I could have a quick mummy rant about a 16 year old girl with heavy eyeliner and bleached blonde hair giving off a bad impression. but it is HER style, her look. I'm not going to judge her for it. (I may well have sneered at the parents though) BUT let me pull out my Grade A Judgey McJudgey face for what they did to that girl after her makeover.

Pink hair? pink? I have a sock in my wardrobe that exact colour from where I washed it with a bunch of red clothing. The whole makeover seemed half-hearted, and all I can hope is that it was a wash-in, wash out colour, otherwise her Saturday job in McDonalds that she probably hoped never to go back to may be in jeopardy.

While I am on the subject of Amelia Lily, did anyone else feel distinctly uncomfortable seeing her grinding on up her backing dancers on Saturday night? The X Factor promised to stop sexing up the star performances and yet choreographed that performance for her? Go figure.

Another makeover that completely blew my mind on Saturday night was poor Sami.

I'm a size 16/18. I know my shape and apart from a couple of times throughout the auditions where she seemed to have misplaced her bra Sami seems to know how to dress for her shape as well.

Come the live shows? Sami of course is wearing BLACK.

It is as though the stylists all sat around drinking Soya lattes and nibbling on wasabi peas and thought "I don't know how to dress a bigger woman, can't we just put her in Mary Byrnes wardrobe from last year?" "She is bigger than a size 12, of COURSE she wants to wear black, but it is a special occasion so lets throw on a gold bolero"

Her make up looked as though my 5yr old had gone crazy on her. Although even my five year old would have turned her nose up at the amount of glitter used (badly) and if I ever see any of those women wearing white eyeliner again I will NOT be held responsible for my actions.

All in all a complete makeover fail.

And let's not even start me off on Johnny Robinson? All I will say is that seeing him on Saturday night reminded me to get the turkey out of the freezer for Sunday dinner!

What did you think of the makeovers for X Factor?

Do you agree with me about Sami?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

2011-10-07T09:45:00.000+01:00

My apologies for the late posting. Me and a (couple of) bottles of wine got acquainted last night and I actually FORGOT to blog!!!!

So after all these months of Nom or Vom I am starting to see a bit of a pattern appear. You lot love the weird ones. You know, the type that probably wouldn't have got laid when they were younger. You like rockers and you are partial to a tattoo or two.

So who better on this cold Friday morning to warm you all up a bit than...........

Chester Bennington
Lead singer of Linkin Park

So what do we think?

Nom or Vom

I know I would.

(goes to lay down in a darkened room somewhere)

Big Fashionista x x

No offence but........................................

2011-10-06T05:00:00.003+01:00

Ah those three little words, you know the ones, the ones that make you instantly tense up and you just know what is coming next.

No, not those ones.

The really offensive ones.

No offence but.........................

Why is it that those three words are usually followed by the most offensive crap anyone could ever say to you.

No offence but, your backside looks like two elephants fighting in a sack in those trousers.........

SAY WHAT?

No offence but, that haircut and colour makes you look like a ninety year old woman, with incontinence issues.

PARDON?

All said with a huge smile because they pulled the "no offence" card.

How can you possibly be offended. They said no offence but...... it MUST be ok-mustn't it?

The same goes for "I don't mean to be rude but......................."

(oh you are darlin' I'd lay money on it)

People seem to treat the words like a Get Out of Jail Free card. and if you dare to pull them on it, they usually pull out a guilt trip "Well, I did say no offence"

Any time you feel like saying "No offence but"........................ Check your bad self before you wreck yourself-because chances are, something so offensive is going to come out of your mouth that if you say it to the wrong person (me) you will be picking up your teeth with tweezers.

No offence.

;-D

Anyone said those words to you? Tell me what they said.

Or how do you deal with it?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x

Sunglasses are for life, not just for summer.

2011-10-05T05:00:00.001+01:00

So you all know that sunglasses are not just for summer right?

The summer may be over but coming to a sky near you we have some perfect crisp autumnal weather.

I love Autumn, it rocks. I was BUILT for autumn and with the sun a lot lower in the sky I always end up adding my sunglasses to any outfit. (even if the other accessories include a scarf)

Now in the past I have never been a snob about sunglasses, I am as happy in Primark sunnies as I am in Prada but when www.polaroidsunglasses.co.uk contacted me and offered to send me a pair of their polarized glasses to try, I never realised that they would be ruining me for all other glasses.

They are fab. there is no glare, absolutely none. which is superb for the low autumnal sun, especially when driving. Their glasses also offer 100% UV400 protection which is superb for eye safety and the glasses that the company www.polaroidsunglasses.co.uk offer are not only practical but highly fashionable.

Want to see how I wear mine?

(my too cool for skool face)

These are the 1970's Donna from the Heritage collection and retail at £69.99 and are completely worth every penny.

Polaroid Sunglasses have a style to suit everyone but when I saw these ones they just screamed "me" (obviously they didn't really scream, that would be weird) I am a sucker for a pair of over-sized sunnies and although the blue of the frame is something that usually I wouldn't go for. It just works with most outfits.

(Testing out the anti-glare)

(Leaning against the fence, looking cool. as you do when you are rocking some fabulous glasses)

(Peekaboo)

So don't think that because summer is over you have no need for sunglasses, in fact if you drive I would highly recommend checking out www.polaroidsunglasses.co.uk for a great pair of glasses that are not only going to look great but will cut the glare of the lower sun while you drive.

Even if you don't drive I recommend trying out a pair of polarized glasses. The difference is amazing. (throws away Primark sunglasses forever)

Do you wear Polarized lenses? Have you been converted like me?

Go check out www.polaroidsunglasses.co.uk for their huge range of glasses and let me know which ones are your favourite, they even sell 3D glasses you know.

Do you wear your sunglasses all year round?

And tell me, what do you think of mine? :-D

Big Fashionista x x

Well-groomed caveman

2011-10-04T07:58:00.000+01:00

When it comes to men and fashion and beauty, how much is too much?

Gone is the time when men used to just wash and go, (Sometimes they wouldn't even wash, they would just go) there is now a huge market for mens grooming products and even make up. I remember a time when Just For Men was seen as a dirty secret, now men can groom to their little hearts content-Bless their little cotton/wool blend designer socks.

But how much is too much?

Who wants a man that takes longer to get ready in the morning than you do (Or looks better than you do-git)

Would you want a man that steals your hair straighteners? (My baldy OH can't even borrow my hair dryer, or brush LOL)

Would you feel uneasy if your man started borrowing your mascara because he liked the way it really opened up his eyes!!!!!!

Are men now starting to feel the same pressure as women to make the best of themselves? Spanx for men? Whatever happened to just breathing in when a "sort" walked past? Or sticking a sock down your pants on a night out?

If you met a man on a night out and then...erm, spilt drink down his clothes and had to go back to his house to get him out of his wet things!!! (nudge nudge, wink wink) how would you feel if you pulled down those sexy tight fighting jeans to discover he was wearing Spanx?

I assume it's like a male equivalent of a Wonder Bra (as in I wonder where those big boobs went)

Men pluck their eyebrows, shave their body hair, wonder whether their bum looks big in their new jeans, they CARE about what they look like. Hell, they moisturise!!! (I rarely do that)

And what do I yearn for?

The smell of sweat, (Obviously not stinky sweat-honest hard working sweat) I want a caveman. No over-grooming for me please. Brush your teeth, shower, spray a little Lynx, a bit of aftershave if you are going "Out, Out" (copyright Mickey Flanagan) and I'm a happy girl.

I'm not one for an over-groomed male-but at the same time I don't want a tramp either. perhaps a tidy caveman would be good?

How about you?

and men, are YOU feeling the pressure?

Let me know

Big Fashionista x x