I have a proposal

So I was going to ignore the fact that today is February the 29th and is "traditionally" known as the day that women can propose to men..........

But then I thought, Ah what the hell.

Today is like a psuedo Valentines day without the giving of gifts. I am having romance shoved so far down my throat that I can feel my gag reflex kicking in. (resists urge to make filthy joke)

Firstly, Haven't we as women come on far enough that if we DO want to propose to a loved one then we can do it any day we choose? (We also have the vote you know)

Secondly, you just know that the media are bored with stories about 20yr olds born on February 29th celebrating their 5th birthdays so are just looking for a new spin on things.

I wouldn't be surprised if Clinton Cards have a range of cards that they have had on sale for the last month (or two) saying "Boyfriend, will you marry me"  Nothing says romance more than that, ESPECIALLY if you throw in a matching helium balloon or two and a cheap teddy bear with "I wuv you this much" on it. (It's allllll about the marketing opportunities, it only comes around once every four years, might as well kick the arse out of it)

Sorry, but the only proposal I am making today is that chocolate cake should be free and that a size 16 should be reclassified as a size 12.

I'm sure a lot of women would get behind THAT proposal.


and the only time I'm getting down on bended knees is to tie my shoelaces. (resisted that urge too)


Deal with it.


Would love to hear your opinions on today.

Will you propose?

or do you agree size 16s should be reclassified? (priorities)



Big Fashionista x x

Take me out (back and shoot me)

On Saturday night while most people were out enjoying themselves and partying I was sat at home having a pity party in Loserville, Population ONE.

To cheer myself up I thought I would watch Take Me Out. (and drink shit loads of wine)

Now I have watched this programme since it first began. I love Paddy and his "Let the cotton, see the candy" and "Let the ding see the dong" sayings, I find the sheer superficiality of the programme has in the past been its major draw, but things have changed......................

Whereas in the past the female contestants on Take Me Out have been genuinely interested in finding a boyfriend or sometimes just fancy a jolly on the Isle Of Fernandos. This series, unfortunately most of them have a hunger about them like a shark scenting blood. Except it is fame that these women are hungry for rather than blood (Although one or two of them look as though either one would do)

There is no naivety about these girls, which is a shame. They have signed away their souls for their 15 minutes of fame. And in return they get to judge men on their looks and put themselves forward to be judged themselves. (While wearing pretty frocks, OBVIOUSLY)

Whether it is who can say the most stupid thing (Tough category) giggle the loudest (again, tough category)  or dress the most outrageously (You can sort of see where I'm going to go with this one can't you?) the girls this series look as though they would eat each others eyes if it would get them noticed and a bit part on TOWIE. I cringed all through the episode Saturday and at the same time was really sad for the loss of the programmes innocence and fun.


Speaking of TOWIE, (Seamless link there, I should be presenting T4, or Songs or Praise maybe) Is anyone else bored now? It is yet another example of people being willing to sell their souls for their fifteen minutes of fame (Andy Warhol is claiming his royalties as we speak) Like Take Me Out these people are dead behind the eyes, (You know, where their brains should be) and are being lead around by the nose by producers who weren't content with their formula and had to tinker and meddle until you end up with more script than an episode of Coronation Street.

I like my reality TV to be........ um, real.


So for me and both of these programmes it is the end of the road.



Sorry Paddy, My light is out.


Me no likey what your ladies have become.




What do you think?


Is your light still on for Take Me Out?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Tallulah loves Chelsea Doll

Everyone knows my love for independent jewellery companies,

Who wants to follow the crowd and wear something that everyone else is wearing when you can purchase something just that little bit different and unique

Chelsea Doll approached me recently to review some jewellery and I was more than happy to oblige as I have always supported Chelsea Doll and love their products.

When it comes to jewellery, I know that there are a lot of people out there that share my love of all things skull. I am never without something skullish about my person, be it something discreet or something larger and in your face.


So who better to show you my new Chelsea Doll jewellery than the lovely Tallulah, working the jewellery

STREET STYLE.

(Yes, I took Tallulah OUTSIDE, I know, I know. Don't judge me, Leave that to all the passerbys who literally wet themselves at me walking down the road with a mannequin)

(Oh yeah, My Tallulah knows how to work her angles)

(Doesn't she look fabulous?)

(Sans jacket, Tallulah ROCKS)

Hippy Skull ring £9.00, This is adjustable, Tallulah wears it on her thumb as firstly she is badass and secondly, she has no individual fingers

Top Hat Skull Necklace £14,00, I shortened this quite a bit as the chain is very long and would have got lost in her magnificent breasts (Jealous? Moi? Hell yeah)

Multi-coloured Skull Bracelet £9,00 This is my favourite piece, combining the toughness of skulls with bright colours meaning it can be worn with just about anything.

And because Tallulah has no head and my daughter THIEVED these the minute they arrived, I made her be Tallulahs head and model these.

Crystal Skull earrings £12,00


So Tallulah and I both highly recommend that you check out Chelsea Doll at www.chelseadoll.co.uk Not just for skull jewellery but for lots of different hot styles, Skulls might not be for you but they will definitely have something that is.


I definitely suggest you go and take a look for youself.


And feel free to leave some love and tips for Tallulah to improve her street style in the future

(Or some tips for me to get a grip)


Let me know.


Big Fashionista

A note from a responsible adult

To whom it may concern,


Please excuse Kellie from blogging today, unfortunately she has been up all night with a very bad case of cant-be-arsedness with the added complication of a case of the mehs and a lingering dose of the don't wannas

I am hoping that it is just a 24 hour bug and not a chronic case which can last for a week or more. I have seen very good bloggers STRUCK DOWN by this illness and have never recovered.

So if you wouldn't mind excusing her today I would be grateful.


PS She also forgot her PE Kit, (Please don't make her do it in knickers and vest, honestly. it won't be pretty)

The dog ate her homework (well, I say dog, I mean Kellie, I say ate it, I mean didn't do it)

And the chances are her uniform is not as it should be today. (The tie may have been used for other purposes this weekend. When she can untie the knots................ yeah, you get me)



Detention you say?


Can I get my people to call your people later?


Let me know



Big Fashionista x x

Question of the day

"Price yourself cheap and you will be treated that way"



Discuss






Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

We have had all types of men on Nom or Vom over the last year or so, Muscled ones, old ones, bald ones and even geeky ones.

But they all have had one thing in common,

They are MEN.

and quite frankly, men are on my shit list at the moment.


So today I thought I would bring you someone quite different.

This guy loves his girlfriend with all his heart. He has been known to sing to her, make public displays of affection towards her and he puts her needs before his!

Who is this mythical creature I hear you ask? Surely he cannot be for real?

Erm


Ladies & gentlemen I give you.........................


Kermit the Frog

 Now before you all run screaming, remember, we could do a lot worse.

He plays a musical instrument for gods sake, he uses it to serenade his girlfriend (Who really doesn't appreciate it if you ask me)

And yet there is still a side to him that is gangsta!

He owns a Tuxedo!!!!! How many men have you dated that actually own a tuxedo (And not hired it from Moss Bros)



And although it was difficult, I did manage to find the now obligitory naked shot that I know you have come to expect of Nom or Vom.

Brace yourselves ladies.

Phew, Is it hot in here or is it just Kermit? Wipes brow.



So let me know.


Kermit the Frog


Nom or Vom


Big Fashionista x x x

Blatant rip-off?

I am a HUGE fan of Tatty Devine. I have drooled over their style for a long time now and their dinosaur necklace is something that one day WILL be mine.

Today it was brought to my attention that Claires Accessories have been (Now how can I put this politely?) ripping off the designs of Tatty Devine and selling their inferior products to chav tweens everywhere.
(I can't stand the thought there is a 12 yr old walking around wearing a copy of a necklace I COVET)

Take a look

On the left is the original and best Tatty Devine Dinosaur necklace. and on the right is the necklace from Claires Accessories.

Are we seeing some similarities or are they absolutely bloody identical?
(yep, that's what I thought too)

How about another one?

On the left, Tatty Devine, on the right. Claires Accessories.

You can see why Tatty Devine are perfectly within their rights to be upset here can't you?


What gives companies such as Claires Accessories the right to just take other peoples designs and pass them off as their own anyway?

Is it just a case that they think a small company won't want to go up against their "might" Like a playground bully, did they think being bigger would protect them?

Well Claires Accessories have made a huge mistake here, they forgot about US.......

The customers.

I have two daughters who would LIVE in Claires Accessories if they could. but I can promise you now that not one penny will be entering Claires tills from me until they have reached an agreement with Tatty Devine.

And I am sure many of you feel the same.

Why not let Claires Accessories know how you feel.

marketinguk@claires.co.uk

There's their email address.


I emailed them my displeasure.


Will you?


Let me know x x

Introducing Tallulah

Yesterday I made a purchase.

Say hello to Tallulah.

Tallulah is a 6ft high headless shop window dummy.

And after just one day, I've realised a couple of things.

Firstly, I obviously never had enough dolls as a child as I have dressed Tallulah about 8 times today in different outfits. (There may have been manic child-like giggling each time she was ready)

Secondly, I think I need to get out more. (Hears the words she THINKS???? from everyone of you)

I rescued Tallulah from a Bon Marche store which is closing down next week. She cost me £15 and has cheered me up no end.

She is basically a 6ft high Barbie doll.

Would you like to see how Tallulah likes to style one pair of skinny jeans in various ways?

Of course you would. (Just nod and agree with me, it's easier on all of us)

Take one pair of Skinny jeans from New Look.

Baby Phat top, purchased from TK Maxx.

Pink chiffon top, Primark
Brown leather handbag TK Maxx

Black top, New Look
Hand bag Matalan.


Tne one thing that slightly concerns me about Tallulah is that she is a size 12. Basically the cow can fit in all the clothes that I WANT to. (and her breasts are AMAZING-bitch)

So there may be times in the future when I want to purchase clothes just for her to wear.
(It would be wrong that I have sorted out wardrobe space for her wouldn't it?)

and I am definitely thinking about various places I can take her to get some pictures of her in different outfits.

(I can imagine me and my friends taking her on nights out as well, they will be some facebook pics, let me tell you)

Maybe a weekly blog post giving Tallulahs Outfit of The Day?


What do you think of Tallulah?

Worth spending £15 quid on?

Should I be concerned she looks better in my clothes than I do?

and if I teach her to cook, do you think I could have a night off every now and then?


Let me know x x



Big Fashionista x x

Music to my ears

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I have them every now and then. Everything seems dark and so soul destroying that I can't bear to be around people. Usually I just lock myself away and don't talk to anyone until it passes.

I take things to heart, I get extremely emotional, tearful and basically hate everyone and everything, including myself. (Ok, mainly myself)

But where I differ from many people out there who suffer from depression is that I am lucky in the fact that it usually lifts after a day or two (or sometimes three)

For me, music is my saviour. it is basically a life jacket.

Like a teenager who has split up with her first love playing the same tunes over and over (For me that was Whitney) when I feel low I relate to the music in a way that usually I wouldn't.

Music has such a powerful effect on people, it can invoke memories, emotions, it can bring tears to your eyes and a smile to your lips.

I grew up in a house where music was always played. constantly. At the time I didn't appreciate it, I moaned about the music choices played by my dad.

To borrow a phrase, When my dad died, it was the day the music died.

The silence in my parents home was one of the hardest things to handle.


Am I rambling?
(Probably, sorry about that)

Will I delete this post
(maybe)

Is today going to be just as hard as yesterday
(God I hope not)

Music is powerful. it can lift you to the clouds or bring you to your knees. I can't imagine a life without music in it. From love songs to some R&B there is a place in my heart for all of it

I may prescribe myself 24 hours more with my iPod. (But not Adele at the moment. I love that ladies music but I actually want to start cheering up soon)


If you are feeling low, what songs would you play to lift your mood?

Send me your songs.

I think I need them at the moment.


Thanks


Big Fashionista x x

With the breast of intentions

So I always promised that I would never sneer at someones style,

Individual choice and all that blah blah.

What I didn't expect was that some no-mark soap "actress" would then pick up the challenge and basically DARE me to pass judgement upon her..............................

(She looks like she is smuggling two Matt Lucas's out of a nightclub)

Now personally I am also quite gifted in the chesticle department. Do I feel the need to get them out in quite such a dramatic manner?

(erm, it has been known. My bad)

Would I fully expect one of my friends to throw a cardigan at me, call me a ho bag and tell me cover myself up a bit?

I would expect nothing less!!!!


In fact I hire friends just to ACTUALLY cover me up sometimes.

(sidenote, old pic, pre weight loss)

Low cut top? Check.

Two friends with big hands? Check.

Oh look, A strapless dress, A shrug over my shoulders.
(Staying classy Helen, it is easily done)
(erm, in outfit only I'm afraid, that was a fun night I must admit)

Was there NO-ONE out with Helen that night to give her a swift slap and tell her that yes, hun, there is such a thing as TOO MUCH tit?


Or am I just getting old when I looked at the picture and thought,

"Jesus, that poor cow is going to catch her death"

(Don't answer that)

So what do you think?

Am I perfectly within my rights to be directly insulted that there are people out there who are making it their lifes work to try and make me lose it and judge them and what they wear?

Should we be told that Matt Lucas has a twin?

And where on earth am I going to fit in the words "with the breast of intentions"


Please, let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Finding the breaking point.

Just before Christmas I had a fringe cut in, and now I have a confession to make that may shock you. (Just don't look at me, please. I can't bear to see you judge me)

My eyebrows are growing out of control.

(I know, I promise I will hand my blogger card in at the door on the way out, hangs head in shame)

I should do something about it, and I will. (eventually)

But I have a problem, (Quite a big one)  I have a instinctive wariness about pissing someone off who is able to cause me pain. (or disfigurement)

But I also have a smart mouth and I know that a huge part of me will want to insult the poor woman just to see what she will do to me (well she can't give me a monobrow can she?)

I can't help it, I have a dark, twisted urge to see just how far I can push people just for kicks.

There are certain types of people out there that you just shouldn't annoy when they are either armed with something that can cause you pain, or can make changes to your appearance that you may possibly not like.

For example, (You might want to write these down)

NEVER ask your hairdresser if she is pregnant or has put on weight.
(Don't do it people, thats a bad haircut just waiting to happen)

Never forget to pay your dentist, or sleep with a member of their family
(Why would you do that and then purposely sit your arse back in the seat)

Don't insult your waxer
(Actually, go for it. The sadistic cow is going to hurt you whatever you do)

And certainly don't mess with a pedicurist.
(no-one, and I do I mean NO-ONE will ever have power over my feet, Shudders a bit, ok a LOT)

And NEVER EVER EVER. have an argument with your mother and then hand her the hairbrush!!!!!! Seriously, she will brush your hair like she is grooming a horse. (I swear I still have a bald patch)

SO this week I am off to tell a threader, "No her trousers don't make her arse look fat, her fat arse makes her arse look fat"

I'll let you know how I get on with that.

If there are no pictures for a while, you know why.



So who else shouldn't you annoy?

And did anyone else get a hairbrush buried in their scalp on a regular basis as a child or was that just me?

Let me know x x


Big Fashionista

Nom or Vom

Hello Friday, you came around so fast this week that I really didn't have time to prepare.

I'll be honest, researching hot sexy men at half past two on a Friday morning is not really my idea of fun and I am seriously not in the mood (you won't hear me say that often)

But sigh, I will take one for the team if I HAVE to.

(See how good I am to you)

(No really, don't thank me, you just being here is enough for me)

(Ah, ignore me, I'm a moody cow at the moment)

So here we go,

Todays Nom or Vom

Ashley Banjo

Lead dancer and choreo.... chorogr...... the guy who work out all the moves (It's late, you know the word I'm looking for) for the Street Dance crew Diversityand judge on Got to Dance.

This guy I can imagine has some serious moves.............

Take a look.

So there you go,


Nom or Vom


The choice is yours.


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Thank you

Once again quite recently there has been bickering and fighting in the blogasphere, Now this always upsets me as a blogger, I have been blogging for nearly two years now and I much prefer a state of harmony and support for fellow bloggers (Have I overused the word blog enough now? I'm such a bad blogger....... oops, just done it again) than backbiting, snipping and bitchy comments.

So today, I am going to open my page here for anyone who wants to say thank you to another blogger.

It can be for any reason you want.

Whether they looked after you at your first event,

or they continuously support your blog by visiting and leaving comments.


It could be something as simple as the fact they retweeted a post that was important to you or helped you get to your 200th follower.

Let us be thankful for each other.

Support each other,

and say thanks

We can throw in a hug or two if that helps. (Keep your hands where I can see them though)

I'm happy to get the ball rolling, I would like to say thank you to Louise from Get Lippie  http://getlippie.blogspot.com/


She knows why x x x



So let's throw it open.


Which blogger would you like to say thank you to?

Why not do it here and now.


Let me know



Big Fashionista x x

Addictions

Only a few hours after the death of Whitney Houston (and I think I am being generous here) the jokes started flowing about her death.

Whether it is ever proved that Whitney died of an accidental overdose, a prescription drug mix up or maybe something different all together what cannot be denied is that once more a troubled, creative soul has succumbed to their addictions.

Be it what finally killed her or not, her addictions certainly led to the beginning of her downfall.

And whether a celebrity or not, the death of anyone in the grip in an addiction is always a sad thing in my opinion.

Addictions are a evil, evil thing, be it an addiction to drugs, food, sex, prescription drugs or alcohol, no one ever sets out to be an addict. You always think that you will be the one that will be in control. You think in the now, the future can take care of yourself. Addiction does that, it allows YOU to think that you are the one who will beat the system. An addict never feel like addict. It is all a clever illusion designed to make you feel as if you are the one in charge.

You aren't.


And while some people can say that celebrities have a better support system or access to better facilities to get clean, whether you are rich, famous or just Joe Bloggs from down the street it has nothing to do with money or fame whether you will get clean or more importantly stay clean.

That is something that can only come from within

and it is DAMN, DAMN hard.

We all have our demons to beat.


It is just sometimes, they beat us first.


"Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness"


Big Fashionista x x

Resuscitating romance

I regret to inform you that despite our best efforts to save it, it seems that romance has left the building,

Passed away,

Gone to a better place.

Sorry ladies,

ROMANCE IS DEAD.

Today may be St Valentine Day but I for one am burying my head in the sand, growling at people who try to talk to me and snarling at red hearts that are everywhere.
(Personally I prefer skulls to hearts anyway)

(and I have no proof but I do have a sneaking suspicion that romance was MURDERED, murdered by PRACTICALITY)

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE romance, I really really do. I may come over like a bit of a prickly bitch but if you know me at all then you know that for me romance is everything, I have an inner princess that sits alone as if in a tower and yearns to be looked at with hunger and need, (now is that romance or lust, I always confuse the two)

For me romance isn't about spending huge amounts of money, it is about the little things that make you smile when you think of the other person.

Post-it notes left around the house (and I don't mean ones that say "I need clean pants")

Someone putting your needs before theirs.

Kissing, just kissing. the kissing (Oh the kissing)

A message that makes you smile, when before you wanted to cry. :-D

Just knowing that someone is thinking about you.


These are the things that I find highly romantic.

Yeah I miss romance.

Practicality just isn't as much fun is it?

Shall we see if we can resuscitate it a bit?


Romantic film quotes coming up.


"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often. and by someone who knows how"



"Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did. Of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you"

"I wish I knew how to quit you"

"I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you, I can live without you. I just don't want to"


"I want the fairytale"

and this one isn't a film but I heard it recently and loved it.

"I don't love you because you're beautiful, you're beautiful because I love you"
(If you can tell me what it's from then you get triple points)

Melts.

Awwwwww why does romance have to be dead? I love romance with all my stone cold bitter heart.


Maybe romance isn't dead, maybe it's just sleeping. Or busy with other people.

Anyone want to reignite my belief that romance isn't dead?

(Smiles a bit. Only you know why)

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Hangover hell

I like a drink (understatement of the century RIGHT there) I love girlie drinks, strong drinks, fruit based drinks, (grape, obviously) Basically me and alcohol have a relationship where I love what it does for me.......


Until the next day!!!

I am one of those people who suffer from 3 day hangover HELL.

The day after I have partaken of fluids of an alcoholic nature I have the usual headache, vomiting, shakes...... (that's normal right?) then day 2 is exhaustion, more headaches, the emotion level of a 14 year old girl and day 3 is just pure tiredness.

Now I would say I'm getting old (actually I wouldn't, and if anyone else dares to, I will eat their eyes) but I have ALWAYS suffered this way.

I've tried not mixing my drinks, I've tried soft drinks inbetween alcoholic ones. But no, the hangover fairy just sits there like an asbo teen hoody just waiting to smack me round the head a few times and reach down my throat and pull up my stomach contents just for shit and giggles.

If I so much as sniff alcohol I end up with a hangover and am out of action for the next couple of days.

I went out Friday night.......

Want to see some pics?

You can sort of see how it all went downhill can't you?

This was FRIDAY night.

It is now Sunday night and this is the first time I have been able to open my laptop (Bloody thing was just too bright-and the keyboard was TOO loud)

So make me feel better, anyone else suffer how I do?

Anyone have any tips for me? (other than don't drink, that my friends would be stupid)

Also if you feel the need to let me know that you can drink MY bodyweight in alcohol and yet wake up in the morning feeling all fresh and sunshiney......................

Don't.

I beg you.


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Nom or Vom

So if there is one thing I like more than food, it is good looking men, (What can I say I have good taste) and if you put them together then I am in heaven.

So todays Nom or Vom had to be a chef or maybe even TWO. (See how good I am to you?)

I toyed with the idea of giving you Heston, but then came across these two fine specimens.


The Fabulous Baker Brothers

Tom and Henry Herbert.

These men can cook, I'm sold.

How about you?

Ladies & Gentlemen,

Tom & Henry Herbert.

(please don't ask me which one is which, because honestly I don't know)

They cook don't you know?

So what do you think?

Nom or Vom



Big Fashionista x x x

Dedicated follower of fashion

Although my blog is called Big Fashionista if you take a good look through my blog (go on, it won't kill you) the chances are you won't find many posts on fashion.

And there is a good reason for that......

(Pulls out soapbox and stands on it)

If there is one thing I cannot stand (today) it is people sneering at what other people are wearing. I really, I mean I REALLY hate it.

Do you remember when Bjork wore a swan dress to the Oscars in 2001,

and got torn apart by the Fashion police? I can still remember the sneering and the sounds of snarling from fashion hacks everywhere. The only way the comments could have been more barbed was if she had gone to the river and caught the bloody thing herself. It was that hated. (could you imagine if Twitter had been around then? Top trending topic for DAYS I imagine? oooooh could you imagine the hashtags?)

Now personally, I think she looked great. It isn't really me I grant you, but it is very Bjork. it suited her style and personality.

And that is the problem with fashion,

Fashion dictates a trend, but doesn't cater for individual style.

Give me Helena Bonham-Carter ANY day of the week over cut-out copy movie stars.

Fashion for me is ALL about individual taste and style, not following the latest "bang-on-trend" erm, trend. Fashion is about taking risks, and not giving a DAMN about what anyone else thinks.

I don't want to be told that plaid is so this season dahhhhling or be sneered at for wearing a blazer which is by the wrong designer (chances are it would be New Look or Matalan) Skinny Jeans are so 2011? Big deal, tell it to someone who actually cares.

I feel sorry for people who are slaves to fashion, it must be exhausting constantly keeping up with trends or living in fear of finally being found out (Yep Alexa Chung, I'm looking at you love)

And who is to say that the people being sneered at on the red carpet for wearing the wrong colour, the wrong cut, or just wearing the wrong thing aren't the ones who are actually ahead of the trend?

Let us remember, it wasn't so long ago that people were being absolutely slaughtered in print for being papped wearing something they had been seen wearing BEFORE!!! (Oh the shame) Now you put it away for a couple of years, call it VINTAGE and you are a

FASHION QUEEN.

Fashion shouldn't dictate what you wear, fashion should be FUN, fashion should be about taking risks, wearing what you love and enjoying it.

You will NEVER catch me sneering at someones outfit. Who am I to judge what someone else is wearing, if it makes them feel good, if THEY are happy to wear it and feel confident wearing it, then more power to them. (yes, even Jodie Marsh)

I have a night out ahead of me this Friday, anyone else think I can pull off a homage to Bjork? What do swans like to eat these days anyway? (grabs a large net and heads to the Thames)

(Gets down off soap box and allows you the floor)

What do you think about fashion? Are you a dedicated follower? Or would you rather SET the trend than follow it?


Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Miss Piggy overload

I'm sorry, I really am. but currently I am suffering from extreme Miss Piggy overload.

Everywhere I turn I feel like I am being followed by a puppet pig.

And I'm not being rude, but she is doing ALLLLLLLL the things that I want to do!!!

A MAC Collaboration

A film

Appearing on TV shows


Jason Segal (Biatch)


WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

I feel like she is being forced down my throat, her and her suspiciously green on-off boyfriend Kermit. Did they have an unpaid tax bill or something? They are whoring themselves out there pretty hardcore at the moment.

(Somewhere there is a member of TOWIE pretty pissed off that they got uninvited to the opening of an envelope to make way for a puppet pig and frog)


And has anyone actually bothered to ask Peppa pig how she feels about this interloper? Her thunder has been well and truly stolen hasn't it? It's like when the crazy aunt that no-one ever talks about just appears at parties, karate chopping everyone (Pork chop? Mmmmmmmmmmm ) and then draping herself all over the hot men. (Just me then?)

I am completely over Miss Piggy now. She used to stand for something but THIS Miss Piggy is just a caricture of her former self, she has been diluted down to pure marketing.

She is just a merchandising tool now.

And even the BAFTA awards aren't safe now!!!! Miss Piggy is now going to be a red carpet HOSTESS. (God give me strength, or a couple of bits of bread I can squish her between)

Tell me it isn't just MOI (Yeah, I went there) that has had enough of Miss Piggy


Come back Peppa, all is forgiven. (well, possibly not forgiven, but at least you don't have a MAC Collaboration...........yet. Hello Kitty? I'm still not talking to her either)


Have you had enough of the walking bacon roll that goes by the name of Miss Piggy or are you still loving her little pink self?

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Lash, Flash, it's all about the cash.

I have Sky+ and one of the main reasons I have this is so that I can fast forward through adverts, I have finally decided that adverts are bad for my blood pressure. There are plenty of adverts out there that make me want to put my size 7s through my TV (No mean feat seeing as my TV is on the wall) DFS sale adverts (You did know they had a sale on right?), Wonga.com ads (Shudder) the Jennifer frickin Lopez Fiat Ad and the HOLY GRAIL of bad advertising


MASCARA ADVERTS.

If I see the words

"Styled with inserts and enhanced in post production" once more, I will not be held accountable for my actions next time I am in Boots or Superdrug.

What these companies are actually saying is, This is our product, but we have so little faith in the abilities that we are crowing about, what we have to do is enhance it, add to it and make it as fake as possible. (Bit like Katie Price's tits I suppose)

The first mascara company that shows me a picture of what their product actually DOES look like will have me as a customer for life.

I'm not stupid, I don't expect my mascara to give me eyelashes so long that if I bat them small children (or grown men) fall to the ground.

But if a mascara promises "Volumized lashes" "Longer lashes" or even "MEGA lashes" Why can't it SHOW me what it does what they are promising me in the advert?

Why does it then have to FAKE its results?

Because that in my opinion is what it is doing. it isn't showing me what the mascara can do, or even what it MIGHT do.

They are a BIG, FAT, FAKE.

Why is this even allowed anyway?

Is it just me that thinks it is completely false advertising?

If I want to buy false eyelashes or lash inserts then I will (I won't, I've never worn false eyelashes in my LIFE, I am the sort of person that WILL glue their eyes shut) If I want to have my eyelashes enhanced in post-production I will buy myself Adobe Photoshop (Yeah, coz the first thing I'd enhance in post-production is my eyelashes isn't it? Rolls eyes, decreases size of arse)

I want to know what the PRODUCT does, not how clever the production team are.

In fact, make-up companies are missing a trick here, Why doesn't one of them do an advert where they make a huge point of the fact they AREN'T using inserts, post-production enhancements or a model with freakishly long eyelashes? And call it something like "what you see, is what you get"

I know I'd buy it,


Wouldn't you?  

Let me know


Big Fashionista x x

Sick note

Last week I spoke about trying to cancel Monday (It didn't work, the bitch came back)

This week I've decided to try something different.

Whether you got snow or not this weekend, chances are you REALLY don't want to be de-duveting yourself and dragging your sorry backside into work today, so just for you and for one time only, I'm going to write you a note.


Just print it off, add in the names and then send it to your boss,

and enjoy your day off

You're welcome.





Dear....................................................... (< Add your bosses name here)


Unfortunately .................................................... (Add your name here, must I do EVERYTHING here)  will not be able to attend work today. Let's face it, You don't want to be there, so the chances of any of your staff jumping for joy at the thought of slaving away for you are about as high as Russell Brands standards right now. (That's not very high in case you were wondering)

There are many, many things working against you, the first being that it IS Monday, (Have you thought about creating a 3 day weekend?) The second being that it IS work.

And unfortunately, some combinations are just not ones that can work long-term (Back to Russell Brand again)


So you can either change the policy on allowing your staff to wear onesies in the office, (Personally I think this should be obligitory on Mondays anyway) or just face the fact that ................................................. (Seriously? It's your name, put it in dude) won't be in work today.

Sorry and all that.


Big Fashionista x x



Let me know how you get on with that, I am (for a small fee) also available to CALL your boss and explain that either A) your explosive diarrhea has gotten so bad over the weekend that you cannot possibly attend work without a supply of adult sized nappies and a couple of bottles of Febreze or B) if your boss is male I explain how your period is so b.............. (that's all he needed to hear) (Although this does only work if you are female-DUH)

(Kelly Rowland, you should have called me gurl, I would've been able to REP-RE-SENT)

Enjoy your Monday x x x


Big Fashionista x x x

GHD Air. A review

I will admit that I spent a couple of years when the GHD straighteners phenomenon first began waving my cheapy straighteners around saying "YOU PAID HOW MUCH? Look at these, £30 quid and they work just as well"

and then Mr Fashionista purchased me a pair of GHD straighteners and I have never EVER looked back.

Smooth silky hair, quicker and faster than ever? I was SOLD.

So when I was asked recently if I would like to try the GHD Air Professional Hairdryer I was instantly interested, but also wary because of the price tag.

£99 FOR a hair dryer?

It was like the straighteners all over again.

So do you want to have a look at a hundred pound hair dryer?

The box, in which my new baby will forever be nestled in between uses.

As you can see you get the hair dryer and two attachments, now usually I leave the concentrator nozzles in the box or lose them somewhere but I have tried both of these and they do make a difference.

This is labelled as a professional hairdryer and I was impressed at how light it was to hold. The wire was very long as well so I had no problem turning, lifting and practically winding it around myself twice.

This hairdryer has more settings than the Starship Enterprise, Speed, heat, All easily changed with a flick of my thumb while I dry my hair.

The cool blast button at the front is also very easily accessible and reacts extremely quickly. making setting your hair a breeze. (pun totally intended)

The concentrator nozzles, both very useful (I will try VERY hard not to lose these)
and different sizes so they can be used on different parts of my hair, I found the smaller wider one perfect for my fringe.

Drying my hair with this hair dryer I found that my hair was a lot smoother, frizz free and dried a lot quicker than with my usual hair dryer. 2,100 watts at 240 volts will do that.

Would I pay £100 for any old hair dryer?

No, probably not.

But would I pay £100 for THIS GHD hair dryer?

I have to admit, I would. I spend a lot of time and effort on my hair and this does make my life easier, Even just the long wire and the lightness of the hairdryer makes it a good purchase for me. I have faith in the quality of GHD from my experiences with my straighteners and this hairdryer is a joy to use.

Yes, it is expensive, I won't deny it.

But like the straighteners before it, once you have tried it, you can't imagine using anything else.

If you want to find out more you can go to www.ghdhair.com or www.ghdhair.com/hair-dryers/ghd-air

Have you tried this hair dryer? I would love to hear your thoughts or if you have any questions about the new GHD Air, let me know, I will definitely try to answer them.


Big Fashionista x x



*Disclaimer, this GHD hairdryer was a pr sample but in no way, shape or form affects my review. if it was useless, I would say it was useless. It isn't, it is now my new baby and shall be treated as such and loved forever*

Nom or Vom

Ok, I have a small confession, I don't know who this guy is.

I've heard his name (usually prefixed by the words, "I'd like to do")

But I don't really know who he is. Sorry about that. Must try harder,

But I do listen to you and over the last couple of weeks more and more of you have been requesting I Nom or Vom him, so here you go.

Ladies & Gentlemen

Michael Fassbender

So what do we all think?


Nom or Vom


Big Fashionista x x

Cybher Meet And Greet

So for the first time ever I will be speaking at Cybher this May. I have to admit I'm as excited as I am nervous so wanted to do this Meet & Greet to ease myself in gently so that if you all see me you can all come and say hi.

This is me-ish, I now have a fringe and by May? God knows what I'll have done to my hair by then.

Name; Kellie Hill

Blogs; www.big-fashionista.blogspot.com

Twitter ID; BigFashionista

Height; 5ft 4"

Hair; brown, black, red, short long, take your pick.

Five things you should know about me

1) I like trying new hairstyles (shock horror)

2) I have never spoken in public before and suffer from awful stage fright (Be kind)

3) I'm 36 years old and HATE it.

4) I have three children but hate to be defined as so-and-so's mum.

5) I have the attention span of a .........................................................


See you all at Cybher I hope x x x

Big Fashionista x x

Baby it's cold outside

If you managed to catch a glance of the newspapers yesterday then I really wouldn't blame you if you were packing for warmer climates immediately.

"SNOW, ICE and its only going to get colder"

"Killer chill"

"UK Colder than Siberia"

Erm, you all know it is winter right?

I don't mean to be rude but why are we all still surprised that we get snow each year? We don't have to like it but I'd really everyone didn't act shocked by it.

It's cold? Well that is what happens in the winter.

It is February, it is cold, grey and dismal. (I'd be more shocked if it was 70 degrees)

We have been spoiled with the milder weather up until now and I think we are going to be paying for it HARD.

I think the winter is a little bit like the frog in the boiling water trick. If you put a frog in boiling water (or freezing climates) then it will jump straight out, but if you put put the frog in the water and gently warm it up then it won't notice the change in temperature.

That's autumn for you.

But because we have had a mild winter so far and stayed in double figure temperatures, now it has dropped quickly we are feeling the difference and trying to jump out of the pot (preferably onto a plane please, I'm feeling the need for a beach and the sun on my back) 

So what I can suggest is to wrap up warm, go out and buy some jumpers.....................

Oh, except you can't.

Because all the bloody shops are full of T-shirts and I kid you not BIKINIS.

(I'm not actually a 34GG, I'm just wearing 8 bikinis trying to keep warm)

I went shopping yesterday, If I was happy to colour-coordinate with frost and snow then I would be laughing. Pastel pinks, yellows, corals and blue (although the blue worked well with my frozen blue fingers) were everywhere. the materials were cotton, chiffon and some other light and floaty fabrics that made me shiver just looking at them!!!

I asked where the jumpers were in one shop and the poor shop assistant looked at me with such a sorrowful and yet mournful look you could just tell she had been asked the same question about 40 times already that day, her reply, "we have our spring/summer stock in now"

Ohhhhhh thats all right then, if I'm going to die of hypothermia at least I am saving myself the embarrassment of dying in winter clothes (Oh the shame)

It's FEBRUARY, it's WINTER.

I want WINTER CLOTHES because it is cold!

Because it is WINTER!

Sigh, am I truly the only person getting this?



Let me know



Big Fashionista x x

The laminate

I think it was Friends that first introduced me to the idea of the "laminated list"

You all know about the laminated list right?

If you are in a relationship it is a list of people that you have full permission to sleep with if the chance ever arises.

Note to all men,

Adding your partners SISTER to the list is never funny, EVER.
(And adding their mother is just SICK)

The laminated list should basically be a list of celebrities or famous people that you actually have no chance with. Not your partners workmates or anyone accessible (although there is that one........moves on quickly)

I don't know if I could deal with a laminated list, can't I have a chalk board instead? So I can rub one or two out as my taste changes? I mean ten years ago I'd have jumped on Michael Madsen HARD, now? Meh not so much. (Don't get me wrong, I'd give him a go but first sign of a crumb and he would be out)

So on my chalk board (I deserve a chalk board-my game, my rules)


Ami James.

Olivia Wilde

Johnny Depp

Tom Hardy

Nicolas Cage (See, if I'd have laminated that I'd be in all sorts of trouble now)

Jessie Pavelka


There is no chance of me actually meeting these guys, but it is good to know that if I ever happen to just bump into them I have permission to trip, fall and land on their.......
(oh you know what I mean)

Who would you have on your laminate? (or chalk board-whatever)



Let me know


Big Fashionista x x